(This is a letter that was e-mailed to me from an anonymous source. The author is a female Minister of The Gospel.)
Hello:
I stumbled upon your website while doing some research on-line. I purchased your book and am looking forward to being blessed and transformed by it. I frequented some of your blogs and was very much blessed by your ministry. I would like to acquire counsel on a matter…
I have a friend who I do believe God placed in my life. She loves Jesus and spiritually we can dialog about the word and spiritual matters and it is awesome because most often I am the one imparting so it is nice to have someone who can counter share with me and we can explore the word, and God and destiny together.
My friend is married and I am single. In the past we have not governed our relationship properly and at one point were getting our sexual needs met from the relationship. In my effort to reorder the relationship with her and God, I refused to participate in these acts further which my friend was not happy with and really became very controlling and manipulative…..very Jezebelic to say the least. This caused me to have to cut off contact all together for a season. While in the midst of pressuring me she became pregnant and her and her husband had a beautiful baby boy.
All of this happened over a three year span. It was only after becoming pregnant that my friend realized she was out of order and needed to get delivered. However, this was very challenging to me as I felt betrayed. Even though she is supposed to have sex with her husband and not me and that was something I was wanting her to do, I was upset at the fact of her trying to pursue me and even becoming vicious and upset with me to the point of just being hateful and vindictive….I can’t begin to describe some of the things she has said and done to me in an effort to get me; to punish me for making a decision not to sleep with her any further
Now that my friend has acquired a perspective on our relationship, we have strived to work on restoring our friendship in a Godly fashion. She now however, appears to have the perspective of diving in head first; her reasoning is she understands we can’t go back and she is not that person anymore, however, I have lots of cautions and challenges and need to and desire to take the process of restoring our friendship very slowly.
One of my biggest challenges is that I have some heart issues against her regarding her baby boy. When talking to me, she calls him the miracle child because he is the reason she turned from the error of her ways and saw what she was doing was wrong, but for me, he reminds me of how she treated me and in some ways it almost feels like she cheated on me even though naturally that isn’t realistic since she is married and we weren’t supposed to be doing anything in the first place; not to mention, I was opting out of the relationship, but that is how my heart feels and I have not been able to get past it no matter how much we talk about it. I know my main issues are how she treated me at that time and then bam…I’m pregnant…it almost felt like she did it to retaliate against me and hurt me although she said that she was really trying to work on her marriage and do what I was encouraging her to do which was to work on her marriage and get her needs met through her husband…so with her actions she was doing this but with her words and deeds towards me she was doing otherwise…..
My other challenge is that she wants me to be in her kids and husband’s life and I would very much love this but I want to do it at my own pace and don’t want to be pressured into it. Never the less, every now and again, she will try to create opportunities for this to occur and will make comments about her children as if they are asking about me which is not true because the boy has only seen me twice and once was a week or so ago so the only way he would be inquiring about me is if she is putting inferences in his mind as he doesn’t know me at all to be doing that…
Not to mention her husband has always been challenged by my presence. From the initial point she and I became friends and were nothing but friends, he has never cared for me and it was/is obvious. He says she changes when she is around me and I concur but she doesn’t readily admit this although it’s obvious to me and to him. Sometimes, I sort of feel like her change is because I am everything she ever wanted in a mate, as she will make remarks at times when her and her husband are at odds that, “I need you in a male form,” or, “I wish he was like you.” Though she says this she will deny this and contend that her love for me as like Jonathan and David in the bible….
Recently I went to my friend’s state on other business and I stayed a few days. My friend would come to visit me and I would visit her and for the most part things were decent and in order. At times she would lay on me or grab my hand; this is the first time we have seen each other physically in over a year so I am still striving to figure out where the boundaries reside. I had to admit I was very uncomfortable. I sort of feel like my friend doesn’t have to have sex…that really she just truly desires intimacy and since she isn’t getting it in her marriage she is willing to have it at any level. So to her laying on me or wanting me to hold her or hold her hand is sisterly…I had expressed to her that for me, I needed time to sort out what is an appropriate level of physical contact and for the present moment didn’t want to participate in any at all, but that didn’t stop her from pushing the boundaries I felt was needed. Nothing happened further than just her laying on me or holding my hand or trying to be close to me in some form but to me it was a subtle representation of past actions….it wasn’t the full blown manipulation but just enough where she could justify it when I brought it up and yes I did bring it up…and she surely justified it.
She as well sent me a CD of Dr. So and So preaching about female friendships once I returned home. It was a powerful message on friendship and how women need other sisters as friends to help them through the journeys of life. One portion Dr. So and So spoke about being a single woman and how her friends meet her intimacy needs. She wasn’t talking about sexually but that when she is struggling as a single women they will be there to talk and walk her through until she is able to stand on her own again. Well my friend used this to try to tell me it was okay if we held hands and laid on one another and the like….she used it from the angle of me being single and it was okay if I got my intimacy needs met through her since she was my “sisterfriend”….
I have never shared this with anyone as I am a leader in my church and I am the problem bearer for everyone else around me. So really I have been working out my own salvation on this one…just me and God….
I would truly appreciate your insight…
In His Power,
Minister Laneen A. Haniah
Anavah – the blog owner and author of
The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook
www.victoriouslyfree.org
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Dear Sisterfriend,
Since you have identified yourself as a Minister of the Gospel, please allow me to be very straight forward with you. You are not a babe in Christ so I will give you more meat than milk in my response.
I had to shorten your letter because it was too long for the blog, but you and I know the fullness of what you shared in it. I’d first like to challenge you to ask yourself a few questions:
If you were your “friend’s” (I will call her Kelly for ease of reading’s sake) husband and knew about the sexual past of your wife and her “friend”, would you want your wife to continue on in a friendship with that person that she’d had a sexual affair with? I challenge you to put yourself in the shoes of Kelly’s husband and then remind you that Jesus says in Matthew 7:12:
“So then, whatever you desire that others would do to and for you, even so do also to and for them, for this is (sums up) the Law and the Prophets.(AMP)”
This alone should be enough to get you back on the path of righteousness, but let me go on to address some other issues or queries presented in your letter. You said that you believe God has sent this woman into your life and that the two of you have a destiny together. I ask you in light of this “belief” of yours to compare it to the words of Apostle James, Jesus’ very own brother:
“13 Let no one say when he is tempted, I am tempted from God; for God is incapable of being tempted by [what is] evil and He Himself tempts no one.
14 But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions).
15 Then the evil desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully matured, brings forth death.
16 Do not be misled, my beloved brethren.
17 Every good gift and every perfect (free, large, full) gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of all [that gives] light… (James 1:13-17, AMP)”
Does your belief that God sent this Jezebel into your life, line up with this Biblical truth presented in James?
In terms of Kelly Jezebel trying to use Dr. So and So’s message to coerce, condemn and manipulate you into further physical contact with her, dare you not miss the imperative point of Dr. So and So’s message: “…One portion Dr. So and So spoke about being a single woman and how her friends meet her intimacy needs.” Kelly is not a single woman. She is married. Her obligation is not to meet the intimate needs of her friends but those of her husband!!! Nor is the obligation of any single woman to meet the intimate needs of a married woman.
Furthermore, I’d have to go on to say that I may disagree with this doctrine of Dr. So and So’s (I say “may” because I have not heard her message in its entirety.) Our intimate needs as single Christian adults are to be met by God in worship. Intimacy with Him is the very reason that God created human beings and many Christians are single for a season or even for a lifetime so that God would have those that would dedicate their intimacy totally to Him. As a married person, you must share your intimacy with your spouse but as a single person you can give all of that intimacy to God. It is a special time in our relationship and growth with God when we are single. Dr. So and So’s message may be dangerous. There are too many women struggling with homosexuality to promote the message that intimacy should be met through your single female friends.
Lastly Sisterfriend, I want to suggest to you that you are spending way too much time trying to get the splinter out of Kelly’s eye, while ignoring the beam in your own. The greater issue here is not how Kelly treated you in the past, or whether or not you and Kelly should continue to have a relationship. The greater issue is the Jezebel operating in your own heart. The Bible says in the book of Jeremiah that:
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly perverse and corrupt and severely, mortally sick! Who can know it [perceive, understand, be acquainted with his own heart and mind]? (Jer 17:9, AMP)”
Your struggle with homosexuality is the greater issue. Homosexuality in women is not as much about “lesbianism” as one might think. It is really about a masculine spirit that comes over women when they are out of God’s order of submission. Jezebels, the queens of manipulation, first and foremost manipulate themselves. That is why it is so hard for a manipulater to see that they are manipulating. When a woman tries to operate in her own authority, the spirit of jezebel (a masculine and controlling spirit) easily comes in. A woman has no authority except that which is given to her by a man and she must always operate in submission to that authority and not in her own authority. But once this order is broken and the woman begins to operate in her own authority, the spirit of masculinity takes over her life and she takes on a masculine nature, including that of being sexually attracted to women. I guarantee you that Jezebel in The Bible was a hardcore lesbian! This usually happens to women when they have been abused or misled by authority figures in their earlier years. They think that the remedy is to lead themselves. You are only trying to protect yourself Sisterfriend and so is Kelly. But you are both out of order.
In conclusion my sister, I sympathize with your situation. I have been there and done that in my own situations. I know how you feel and I know that it is not an easy place to be in. However, I must say to you plainly that you must end this relationship with Kelly immediately and permanently. This is a very unhealthy relationship and it has to be put to a stop. The Lord is convicting your heart and that is why you wrote me.
You and your friend Kelly both need to read my book, “The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook”, and you both need to listen to the CD that goes with the book “The Truth About Sex”. Divinely enough, I talk on the CD about how married woman get their intimate needs met through their best girlfriends when there are problems in the marriage. You will both be enlightened and set free if you listen to the message, read the book and apply the principles therein. I am also available for one on one counseling by phone, for a small fee, if either one of your are interested. I think the counseling would be a very good idea.
I hope this helps you out Sisterfriend and I pray your strength to receive God’s counsel given to you on this matter in this letter.
In His Power,
Minister Laneen A. Haniah
(Anavah)
Bloggers,
Sisterfriend was upset that her letter was posted, concerned that her indentity would be revealed through the letter. For this reason I have offered to correspond with her about this matter privately from this point forward. Unfortunately, she says she does not know if she wants to go forward with counseling because she can no longer trust me. Have I done wrong by posting her letter?
However, please feel free to post your thoughts and comments about this situation if you think it will edify me and the readers.
Thanks
Laneen
I shared your email with my husabnd and together we read Sisterfriend’s letter and your response. I am sure you do this with Emmanuel, I wanted my husband’s input, or the man’s perspective. And he concurs with what you wrote in your blog regarding Kelly’s husband and that is he would not approve or be in any position of approval in regards to this relationship. Sisterfriend even noted in her letter that the husband doesn’t approve of this relationship because of the changes that take place in his wife when Sister is present. I believe that the husband isn’t receiving his spiritual, emotional intimacy met from his wife and feels threatened.
I do not agree with Dr So and So’s message because I believe it is wrong when you get women together and when one begins to bash their husband, the other’s chime in and without knowing it, they are in agreement against their husbands. That is wrong. At least for me, that is wrong. The things that are being shared are intimate and they belong to their spouse. They would not like it if their husband sought out a friend, male or female, and told them the things that should be told only to the wife. It plays to the devil’s stradegy of divide and conqueor. It is a betrayal….
I think that what is being practiced here is emotional adultery. They were emotionally engaging in an intimacy long before it got physical. James said it best in the scripture you quoted. I believe before it works itself out in the physical, it has to be birthed in the spiritual and defined in the emotions…so they were already adulterous and fornicating long before the physical act was commited. LONLINESS opens up to seduction through the ears first, (Women are seduced through the ears, men through the eyes)
As far as her reluntance to continue counseling with you, the accusation of not trusting you says it all. She isn’t really desiring to be free. Her concern about being “outted” through the posts to the blog isn’t rational. Identity is not that easily discovered unless she divulges personal information ie her church or her family or location. The only other way is for someone to “hack” into your WordPress account and take the ISP address….so I am not seeing her point.
If she truly desires to be delivered and healed and I mean the kind of desire that will cross oceans, climb mountains, walk miles kind of desire for freedom, then posting on the blog or email correspondence is minimal. As a minister of the Gospel, if I believed that the Kingdom of God and God’s people could benefit, I would have no problem about posting. I think that the blog also keeps her correspondance “clean”. There is no need for graphic depictions of sexual acts etc. or too much personal detail which would be counter productive.
There is a check in my spirit with this one. If she isn’t willing to email, fine. But taking the letter down or making concessions to her (allowing her to set the terms for counseling) isn’t an option. She seems to be intelligent, but I am not sure of her sincerity to be delivered. In other words, her walk and her talk isn’t going hand in hand…..
Just the first thoughts, and my husband is in agreement….the blog should stay and if she doesn’t want to trust you, then she doesn’t, but you do not need to feel that you are betraying her trust. Her reasoning for not trusting you is bogus because Kelly has all the firepower to shoot her right out of the saddle by a phone call to the board members of the church or her senior pastor or even writing a letter to the editor to the local paper.
I agree that she is a practicing homosexual after her indulgences with her friend….she isn’t any different from a sober drunk. They don’t drink but they still have the behavior and the mindset of an alcoholic….Just because she doesn’t want to have sex with this friend any longer doesn’t make her heterosexual or even in a position for restoration…..
In conclusion, my gut says that this woman enjoys thinking, talking and or retelling her relationship. I didn’t get the feeling that she was all that remorseful for betraying her ordaination and her God….
These are my thoughts….if I am being judgemental, please point it out to me. I may not be reading this correctly because of my own personal lack of a frame of reference, however, sexual sin homo or hetero seem to follow the same pattern….and it is the pattern that I am seeing…..
Let me know what you think.
I think you have helped me put things in proper perspective Shadow. I was not trying to hurt this lady. I just want to give her and my bloggers an opportunity to benefit from whatever the Lord would say concerning this matter. I wonder what the other bloggers think though.
As a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ, you had an obligation to hold her confidence in you as a holy trust. The woman is struggling with herself, her desires, her friend’s manipulation of her struggle, and, dare one say it, with her God. What you have done by posting her letter is equivalent to ripping her clothes off at the mall. As a pastor, you should have responded to her letter privately rather than displaying her struggle here for all to ogle and weigh in on as judges. Please consider that what Jesus did when confronted with a woman caught in adultery was to save her from such scrutiny and judgment before turning toward her, away from the condemners, to raise her from the dust, and telling her to go and sin no more. You have done just the opposite.
Heidi,
Thanks so much for taking the time to give me your perspective. I hope you will continue to bear with me as I respond to your comment.
Firstly, I failed to mention in my comment #2 that the lady sent her letter to an e-mail address she got from my website that is especially marked for entries on my On-Line advice column. It is clearly marked on my website that all comments sent to that e-mail address will be considered for posting. Had she not sent it to that particular address, I would have asked for permission before I posting it. I have done this in the past when people have sent me e-mails to different addresses.
Secondly, I am one who highly regards the offices of the five fold ministry and thier different functions. I am not a pastor. That is certainly not my call. My call (I am still in training) is to the office of the Prophet and Prophets deal with people very differently than do Pastors. My responsibility is not to change people’s diapers or to save them as Jesus did. My responsibility as a Prophet is to hear them through the ears of the Father and respond as His representative.
What I saw is that this woman is on the surface having the struggles that you mentioned above, but underneath her greatest struggle is her unwillingness to let God be LORD in her life. She is much more concerned about offending her friend than offending the God who saved her. She has a multitude of pastors she could have reached out to, but God did not send her to a pastor, He sent her to a Prophet. Prophets challenge people to lay down their excuses and become their all in God. The often deal with the more spiritually mature and those that God is preparing for a great call. I consider it quite a privilege for her that God sent her not to a pastor but to a prophet. She is obviously called to a great work.
It’s funny that you said it’s like I ripped her clothes off in the mall. To expose is a Prophet’s mandate, but to follow up with the instructions that will rebuild people is a part of that obligation.
Thus I feel as I have done what I have been required by God to do because nothing happens by accident. God knew that I would post her article if she sent it to the e-mail address that she did. I therefore believe that this was orchestrated by Him and if she could get past the embarrassment that has kept her bound for the past 3 years and beyond, she can get healed.
This is my insight to your insight, feel free to respond.
i agree 100% with you anava! Sisterfriend is in my prayers. You told her right. First of all, when we are babes God allows (not condones), but allows room for bloops and blunders…but when we grow up God is throwing away the kid gloves. If we know better,we must do better. I remember some years ago I called a friend of mine name marjorie who has an outreach to lesbians. I called her crying saying ‘marjie I messed up…i hooked up with this dude last night..’ Marjorie was brutally honest with me. She said tonio ‘you are living a dangerous life…and if you wanna know the real truth YOU are dangerous’. Dont you know that everytime you laying up with these men, you are helping them play with their salvation tonio ? You can let this cancer eat you if you want to but Im not going to baby you. You know better, Antonio!” Anavah when she told me that, my flesh was mad but I knew she was telling the truth. What i remember most about marjorie is when she informed me how dangerous I was. So many times when leaving a sexcapade ive asked God to forgive me for my sin but never realizing how I effected that other person. Who’s to say that anyonymous person didnt go somewhere and hang themselves or blow their brains out because of my spiritual deposit in their life? For those brief moments in a hotel I played with thier void but couldn’t fulfill it. Only Jesus could. And whos to say my 5 minute influence in their life wasnt enough to drive them over the edge? Many people I never saw again and dont know if they are living or not. I often refer to my past self as being a spiritual serial killer. Too often we go about licking our own wounds not realizing the damage we have done to others.. in this case kelly,her husband, and her baby boy. I’ve been in similar situations too many times to count. Here’s one:
While at a gay club, I met a guy by the name of “Bob”. Handsome brother with dreadlocks and a model look. “Bob” was very gifted in cosmetology and music. We hooked up a few times. We both however had an interest in living for God and wanted freedom from this way of living. We tried for a while to use each others interest in church as an excuse to hang around each other. We’d be crying out to God one minute and rolling around on the floor another minute. When one of us was feeling spiritual, the other wanted to sin. We finally came to an agreement that we had to permanently separate because we were destroying each other. Theres no doubt in my mind that I loved “Bob” on some level as a brother in Christ and no doubt that sistafriend loved kelly on some level as a sister in Christ BUT love thrives on ACTION not words. I should have loved “Bob” enough (his soul,his purpose on earth,his need for God,his value to God) to not even go there in the first place! And then to keep hooking up KNOWING the damage that I’m doing was treacherous. In one of our last conversations, we both agreed that if you REALLY love someone you should let them go. We both beared in mind that we met outside of Gods will in the first place so we couldnt say God brought us together! We also believed that if God meant for us to be in each others lives for whatever reason, He would have to orchestrate it in His timing BUT we also had to accept the possibility that God may not intend for us to cross each others path EVER in life again. I need God and so does “Bob”. True brothers and sisters will help each other move the stumbling block out of each others way even if the obstacle is themselves!
One more thing…
As for the david/jonathan connection
notice that jonathan LOVED david enough to watch out for his soul because saul was trying to KILL HIM! Homosexuality is in a sense the saul…
Wow,
Thanks for that input Antonio. I gather that you formerly lived a life of homosexuality. I think your words and experiences speaks volumes. This is the reason that I chose to post Sisterfriend letter. For every person that actually leaves a comment, dozens of others come through and just read the articles and comments and allow those comments to minister to them.
Thanks for sharing and I hope sisterfriend reads your comment.
wow. first and foremost the enemy is running rapid in the church. i think this leader should sit down. she does not need to lead. she needs to be delivered. leaders have to live a lifestyle of leadership. i will pray for her and that spirit that has attached itself to her, because i am seeing so much of it in the church, and God is not pleased!
oh and by the way no you can’t go on to being friends. why? because you need to decern when the friendship is of God or satan. how can you effectively minister to one another. is God getting the glory in your friendship. He tempts no one. would He really put two people together in a friendship that satan gets the glory everytime yall are together. we serve a Holy God. pray that God would send labors for that harvest because, yall are too weak to minister to one another. would he tell a person that just got off crack cocaine recently to go and minister to someone in a crack house? no, that is for someone else.
If you take out the same gender aspect of this situation there would be no question about whether or not the friendhip should continue.
The sister who sent the letter need not worry about being discovered. I know of several stories with very similar storylines.
Lastly, I am not rendering a judgeent about the teaching on DVD since I have o way of knwinwg the details but, I have noticed a trend of late of there type of teachings that raise the female friendship to some higher spiritual plane thaan could be achieved prior to the teaching. Women already have a natural ability to develop more intimate relationships than men. I would think that all that all is needed in that area are the biblical temperament to be expanded upon, ie;, the fruit of the Spirit. Perhaps the minister teaches on letting past hurts go, etc.
M concern centers on this: I heard/saw, with my own eyes, Serita Jakes minister to a large audience of women who serve their pastor’s wives. She ended the meeting asking all the armor bearersif they knew their first ladies favorite perfume, where she go her hair done, nail polish, etc. I was stunned by this. Armor bearing isn’t that kinda stuff. On top of that the kind of stuff she mentioned was stuff the pastor should know. It was very, very strange to hear, let me tell you.
I think we have to careful about what we teach from pulpits lest we open some inapprproiate doors to weak willed people.
Laneen:
I gotta disagree with Heidi Williams here. First of all, you did not use the woman’s name. Second, a PASTOR should NOT be worried about privacy. Instead, A PASTOR should be worried about NOT DOING THINGS THAT THEY ARE SO ASHAMED OF THAT THEY WANT TO KEEP PRIVATE. If you call yourself a pastor and do not want to be embarrassed, then don’t do anything embarrassing. If you do something embarrassing, renounce it and seek forgiveness and deliverance from it so that instead of being your embarrassment it is your testimony. The reason why this woman is embarrassed is because this woman has not dealt with this sin and pride.
Also, this “private confessional” nonsense is not biblical. Show me where it says to do it in the Bible? It isn’t there. This private confessional thing came 1. from private confession booths in Catholic Churches and 2. the secular practice of going to psychologists and psychiatrists for private counseling sessions. The former is based on the LIE that Catholic priests can forgive your sins. The latter is based on humanistic amorality where the psychologist or psychiatrist is not to make any judgment on whether your behavior is right or wrong but rather only deals with how your behavior makes us feel.
But the Bible DOES NOT tell us to go have anonymous counseling meetings. Don’ t people know how dangerous that is? You have had so many situations where a woman goes to a private counseling session with a pastor and the pastor and the woman wind up having sex! Sometimes they have sex during the counseling session, other times they just hook up at a hotel later. This often happens with single women or women having intimacy problems in their own marriage. Sometimes it is the pastor forcing himself on the woman, sometimes it is the woman seducing the pastor.
Now do not get me wrong, I do know that there are going to be times that call for confidentiality. But as a general rule, we should obey James 5:16, which says CONFESS YOUR FAULTS TO ONE ANOTHER!
And note that this pastor is only talking about “me me me me me me.” How uncomfortable it is for her. How it makes her feel. Even the fact that she is sinning is only all about her, how the knowledge that she is sinning is making her feel. Well what about God? Does she care how her behavior offends God? This is typical man – centered humanistic Christianity that has more to do with Oprah and Dr. Phil than the Bible. These people are using and referencing the Bible, but they aren’t living by and being governed by it. For them the Bible is no different from a movie script or an encyclopedia.
I think that it is safe to say that this woman based not so much on her actions (for we all sin) but her MINDSET and DOCTRINE that she was never called by God to the ministry but rather raised herself up out of the desires of her own heart. She needs to cease the pretensions of being a minister and start examining herself to see whether she is actually in the faith (2 Corinthians 13:5) and then work out her salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12). AFTER she has gone through that process THEN she should seek the HUMBLE CHRISTIAN SERVICE that God has called her to do.
How can I judge this woman in this way? “at one point were getting our sexual needs met from the relationship” Excuse me, but a single person is not supposed to have sexual needs. Sexual needs or desire for anyone other than your spouse is called LUST.
“I have a friend who I do believe God placed in my life. She loves Jesus and spiritually we can dialog about the word and spiritual matters and it is awesome because most often I am the one imparting so it is nice to have someone who can counter share with me and we can explore the word, and God and destiny together.”
This means that she has NO DISCERNMENT and NO KNOWLEDGE OF SPIRITUAL THINGS OR INTEREST IN THEM. She is taking the lasciviousness of the world to be the same as the spiritual things of God. How can you claim that a woman that is committing adultery loves Jesus Christ? How can a spiritual conversation between an adulteress and a fornicator take place?
I am going to go ahead and say it: this woman is not even saved. If she were saved, she would have the indwelling Holy Spirit that would convict her. As it is, she is only responding to carnal guilt and shame, and fear of being discovered. Proof of this is that she only drew the line when her partner in sin became pregnant. Excuse me, but what was so special about her getting pregnant? Her wanting “the best interests of the child?” Her not wanting the husband and wife to get divorced and the child to grow up in a broken home? Please! She cares more about that child than she does about GOD. That shows how CARNAL her mindset is.
This is evidence of how so few people that claim to be Christian are truly saved. The Bible clearly says that if you are saved, the Holy Spirit will be active in your life. Even if you are still being vexed by evil spirits and are struggling with sin, the Holy Spirit will still be there and you will be able to tell the difference. But there is no evidence of Holy Spirit activity in this woman’s life. The only thing that she is exhibiting is selfishness and pride. Just because you say that you are saved doesn’t mean that you are saved. Somebody’s got to step up and say this, and somebody’s got to step up and say it to HER.
In the early church, they used to kick people out of the church as heretics and apostates; deliver them unto Satan like Paul said. In today’s world, if you so much as raise a verbal finger against anyone who claims to be saved you are “judging” and they will through out the “no one judges or knows a person’s heart but God”, 99% of the time completely out of context. Well Jesus Christ says that if you love Him you will keep His commandments. This woman is far more concerned with her own position and embarrassment than loving Jesus Christ.
The type of judging you are dong is the very type that Christ warned us aout. In an abbreviated email you have determined this woman isn’t a Christian?
Secondly, James’ admonition to “Confess your faults one to another…” comes after he deals within the context of love, loving without hypocrisy, not biting and devouring one another, etc.
You should be careful with assigning people an eternal destiny using so little info. Let’s remember the latter half of James’ verse regarding confession…”and pray for onr another that you may be healed.”
The fact that the womn is disturbed by her relationship witht this woman may clearly indicate that she is indeed a believer. She mentons me, me me, because she is talking about herself. Even is she is misplaced prematurely in ministry is is not certain that she is not saved.
I totally agree elder jimmy. I was with heatheland all the way until she stated the woman was not saved. everyone on this board has done wrong and ‘den some’.
I read some of the posts but I haven’t read all them because when you start to get people chiming in from everywhere with judgemental hearts and no gift to actually counsel someone effectively would be the very reason why I don’t agree that this should have been posted for all to see.
When I was going through a very tough time in my marriage (my husband was cheating), I divulged what I was going through to a friend who I actually believe might have a prophetic calling on her life. Although she was EXTREMELY HELPFUL during that time, I later found out that she told people that had no right to know. She didn’t always mention names (my name or my husband’s name) but she was running her mouth about what she called a “particular situation” and some people were able to put 2 and 2 together.
What has happened here is this person has come to you Laneen to receive CHASTISEMENT FROM YOU, not from bloggers. You should have asked her if it was “okay” to post the email she sent to you. This person did not post directly to the blog. She sent YOU an EMAIL. I can’t even imagine what that person might be going through as she comes back and reads all the mess posted by others when again, she trusted you. I don’t care if what the other bloggers posted is true or not, scriptural or not….this was not meant for them.
If you felt a check in your spirt in the beginning, I think you should have heeded to that. Just for the simple fact that you questioned whether you should have posted it or not should have been enough.
If we believe that Jesus Christ is The Way, The Truth and The Life, why are we so afraid and angry when we hear
scriptural truth? Why do we jump up and scream “you’re judging me!’ whenever Scripture is shared that condemns our beloved and enjoyable sins?
Why would someone who love God, be angry at His word?
And maintain anger at His rebuke?
Who do we love – the sin or the Saviour?
This spirit of hurt and offence (not at our sin, but at the rebuke or exposure of it) from whence cometh it?
As for this judging thing – it’s real simple. Running the red light
is illegal, that’s a known public law. In my country the penalty is $5,000.00. Now, if I see you run the red light, and I say to you , “you just did something illegal”, am I judging you? No, because the police alone has to authority to write you the ticket for $5,000.00 . And if you don’t pay it withing the time-frame, the judge alone has authority power to enforce the penalty i.e you appear the judge, who orders you to pay the fine and if you cannot, then he sentences you to jail time.
That’s what ‘judging’ really and truly is, determining your punishment/reward for breaking/keeping certain laws.
Now as for judge not lest ye be judged,” that’s only half of the quote, it continues “for the measure with which ye judge shall be meted out ot you”. Simply put, what we say should
happen to someone in their calamity, is exactly what will happen to us in ours. Again, saying someone’s behaviour is wrong when measured against the yardstick of God’s word is not judging.
So Laneen and the others were not juding Sister Friend, cause they sure can’t send her to hell or blot her name out of the Book of LIfe. What they are guilty of is telling Sisterfriend
the truth in light of God’s word, which seems to be the only
sin these dark perilous days. (but I hear Isaish saying Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil)
There will be no healing nor deliverance without truth.
Abscessed boils must be lanced, and lancing hurts……but after the hurt, the medication and the healing !! Hallelujah!
Us folks know how to take cures for everything……Prozac for depression, Prilosec for Heartburn, Pro-active solution for Acne, and the list could go on…. so what true Christian would
reject the Word of God for curing sin?
May God have mercy on our perverse and rebellious souls!
Lesha
What a good explaination for the misused and misquoted “Judge not….” scripture that gets thrown around so frequently. I appreciate you insight on Truth. I believe that Sisterfriend will find wisdom if she will revisit Laneen’s site. That is the hope that everyone has for Sister….May she be free, with God’s help…let her be free…