The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook: by Laneen Anavah Haniah
Do you need advice about Christian Sexuality? Well, this is the place to post your question.
What questions can you ask? You can blog about anything you want to including sex, marriage, deliverance, or whatever… Look at the list of categories. Anything on the list is fair game.
Why am I concerned about your issue? Because I have been raised up by God as a teacher and deliverer for people in this area. I have an extensive history of sexual addiction and promiscuity including: rape, molestation, masturbation, homosexuality, incest, pornography and even prostitution. You can go to my website www.victoriouslyfree.org to get a more in-depth synopsis of my testimony.
Why am I qualified to answer your question? Because I have been delivered! I AM VICTORIOUSLY FREE! I want you to be too. I am a former prostitute turned preacher. I’ve done just about everything sexual you can imagine and I am not ashamed to talk about it. I’m not ashamed because I am set free! I have also written a 300 page book on sexual peversion and deliverance, through which many people have received deliverance. You can get more info on my book, “The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook”, from my website.
Let’s talk and don’t forget to check out my book on sex at www.victoriouslyfree.org
In His Power,
Minister Laneen A. Haniah
Anavah – the blog owner and author of
The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook
www.victoriouslyfree.org
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70 Comments
Dear Minister Laneen,
I respect your sincerity in the work you are dedicating yourself to in the name of God. What I’m wondering about, though, is how the Bible could be our perfect guide for Christian sexuality. After all, the story of Lot and his daughters teaches that incest is acceptable – God did not punish Lot for the incest he commited with his two daughters. How does this fit into your philosophy?
I’m reading some of the blogs, but the one that really disturbed me, is the one about the mother…trying to find a mr. alright for her daughter!…..Is she serious? What kind of mother would allow her daughter to settle for a Mr. Alright….can you send me the link to her page I would love to leave her a comment….LOL
Jamila,
I don’t care to promote her website so I will e-mail you the link for it!
Khandy,
I will respond to your question in a new post. I will send a notice out when I complete it. I want to be sure to find the supporting scriptures for my answer. I love your question by the way! These are the kind of issues I really love to deal with!
Hey im not worried about marriage right now. Im just an average teen guy. according to the bible, not your personal beliefs, is it ok to masturbate? can u gimme scripture?
Foodle Pants!
Yours is a good question. This is not just a personal belief! I can definitely give you scripture. As a matter of fact, let me give you a direct quote out of my book, The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook, which contains some scriptures. In the book I write:
“A lot of people debate over whether or not masturbation is a sin. Many people want to confine the Word of God to our limited English language and vocabulary. Because in their hearts they desire to commit acts of sin, they feign ignorance due to the fact that every evil act is not noted in black and white in the Bible. But, the Bible tells us in Romans 1:18-19, “18But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who push the truth away from themselves. 19For the truth about God is known to them instinctively. God has put this knowledge in their hearts.”
Admittedly, there is no scripture in the Bible that says, “Thou shall not masturbate”, but 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NLT), “Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” makes it very clear that the Apostle Paul is referring to the act of sexually stimulating oneself in this scripture. Every other type of sexual sin involves another person or creature. Masturbation is the one act of sexual perversion that you commit using your own body against your own body, “For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” Masturbation does not just mean using your hands either. It can involve stimulating yourself with some type of object, or it can be as simple as purposefully allowing your clothing or bed covers to caress your genitals in a sexually stimulating way. It does not even have to involve touching at all. If you know how to flex and relax your genital muscles in a sexually stimulating way or how to fantasize yourself into an orgasm that too is masturbation. Remember, it is not so much what you do or how you do it, as much as it is why you do it – what is the intent of your heart?”
Besides this Foodle Pants, every act of sexual sin is committed first in spirit where the consequences are devastating and very long term. You may not be interested in marriage now, but what about your future? What about the strongholds that are being built in your spirit that will hinder your happiness later when you are ready to get married?
Then as a Christian, and I don’t know if you are one or not, but for anyone who is we have to consider our Kingdom destiny. How great do we want to be for God? How mightily do we want to be used? If you have a desire to really be powerful for the Lord and have a close relationship with Him, masturbation cannot be a part of your life. Why? Consider this, another direct quote from the book:
““3Who shall go up into the mountain of The Lord? Or who shall stand in His Holy Place? 4He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted himself up to falsehood or to what is false, nor sworn deceitfully. 5He shall receive blessing from The Lord and Righteousness from the God of his salvation. (Ps 24:3-5, AMP)” Notice how clean hands are directly related to purity of heart. How clean are your hands after you masturbate? Are these truly the same hands that you will lift before The Lord in worship? Think about that – Selah.”
(Comment fwd from my e-mail)
Laneen
I understand that Christian Sexuality is important but there are other issues that
Christians are facing today for instance, staying save, financial matters, divorce, losing faith in the faith, etc. I have been getting information from you for about a week know and frankly I am beginning to lose interest……How can Christians live victoriously free is all the blogs are about Sexuality. Help me to understand
Good question!
Actually all of the above issues that you have mentioned are often times rooted in sexual immorality. Did youknow that 80% of all marriages are affected by adlutery? Did you know that 90% of Christian men, and over 60% of Christian women admitted in a survey of 1,000’s that they are struggling with sexual perversion? Did you know that one of God’s punishments for sexual peversion is to withhold financial prosperity? (See Lev chap 20). And do you realize that the main reason people lose faith in God is because they lack intimacy with him? Well guess what, contrary to most people’s understanding, that is the main assignment of spirits of sexual perversion — to distort our personal intamacy and worship with God!
I have counseled countless people that are dealing with these issues my brother. Many of them are embarrassed and ashamed and only open up to me because I am so transparent about my past. When these sexual issues are resolved in a person’s life, it immediately begins to bring change in other areas of their spiritual walk as well.
The Body of Christ is very ignorant about the spirits of sexual perversion and how and why they truly operate. I have an assignment on my life to change that and I take that assignment very seriously. I do deal with other topics when I go out and preach and I deal with other issues in my own life. However, this blog has been specifically designed to be a place where people can come and get educated on this topic in particular.
The only reason I even posted the topics about Bynum and White was to draw veiwers to the blog so I could expose them to the true purpose of the blog. Little by little people are finally starting to open up about their sexual problems. And I am now having the opportunity to operate in purpose and teach them the truth about sexual perversion.
There is so much to know. It’s nothing that can be covered in one or two post, believe me. The book that I wrote on the topic, The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook, is 300 pages and that is just the tip of the iceberg Sir.
Thanks for your feedback. I appreciate it. Please pray for me that I will run the blog the way The Lord instructs me to and not the way that I think I should.
Laneen
I had just begun to read some of your topics and was led to share my story with you. I am 38 years old and when I was in my late teens early 20’s I was called into the ministry to preach. I never accepted the calling until I was in my early 30’s because I was struggling with homosexuality.
As a young boy I was molested by my nephew from the time I was about 10 until I was in my teens. Much of my life has been blocked out because of this event. In lue of that I had begun to feel that if God had loved me he would not have allowed this to happen to me. Again, when I was in my preteens while walking home one night I was raped by a grown man. After that had happened I knew that God did not love me, at all, period.
After that had happened I had begun to say forget it, I will just accept the feelings I now have (feeling for another man) and just go on with my life. So, I had begun to develop relationships with other men; however, I would always feel convicted after wards, so, I knew that that was not the life style for me. At the age of around 16 or 17 I gave my life to Christ I was filled with the Holy Ghost I stayed saved for a few years and backslide. I had lost my mother to a fatal heart attack and once again I felt that God had betrayed me. So I went back into the life style but I just could not get into it. I decided to get married because I thought that was the right thing to do in the eyesight of God.
I was oh so wrong, the only reason I married was because I wanted to have a women to be intimate with and that was selfish and now my wife and I are separated. She never knew the real reason I left her, but I left her because I could not get over the emotional trauma of wanting to be with another man.
I have since rededicated my life to God and I have been before Him because I know that I am suppose to minister to hurting people who have experienced what I have been through. With that being said, I need to to pray for me because, yes these thoughts do run through my head but I know that the mind is where warfare begins. But I am determined to fight because 1 Cor 10:13 says there has no temptation that has taken you that………God will not make a way for me to escape.
Please Pray 4 me!!!!!
Seeking Christ to heal me:
Please accept what I heard in my spirit concerning your comment/question to Min. Laneen about your “…beginning to lose interest…How can Christians live victoriously free if all the blogs are about sexuality. Help me to understand”. As follows:
As we grow and walk in spiritual maturity, we will be able (as revealed by Holy Spirit) to glean a word from any message of God—whether we think it’s for us, or not. As we grow and walk in spiritual maturity, we will find a word in due season. A word–a fragmentary part of a thought as given to us by the Spirit–to minister to our spirits.
If you feel that a particular topic/subject matter is not for you, personally, perhaps it is for you to share with someone else. Moreover, if not for you now, more than likely, you’ll need it later. So, in the interim, take the word and stick it in your spiritual ‘back pocket’ to retrieve later.
In my walk with the Lord, I’ve come to learn that in our humanness (our flesh), we tend to be selfish—-self-centered, only concerned about what pertains to us; but we must remember: The real us is not flesh and blood, but spirit. We are made in the image of God–and, God is Spirit (Jn. 4:24). Our physical bodies are merely the container, if you will, of our spirit—the true us. As spirit beings, we, in Christ, must be spirit-minded—led by the Spirit (Rom. 8:14). As spirit beings, we, in Christ, must be Christ-minded (Phil 2:5); and in being Christ-minded, we are called to be laborers for the Kingdom of God (Lk. 19:10)…and, further, as ambassadorial laborers, as the lost are led to Christ, we are required to disciple them…and that entails renewing their minds through the Word of God and His anointed and appointed teachers.
As we are approached with questions from demon-bondaged individuals—saved and unsaved—particularly as it concerns sexual perversions (in all forms), when embracing such teaching as taught via this weblog, we become fully armed (and thoroughly dangerous) to address such issues through the Word of God and such Word-based teaching—-again, as found on this weblog.
If I may be transparent: Although a fellow minister with Min. Laneen, the Lord is still teaching me on sexual perversion through her one-on-one counseling with me as well as through this weblog. None of us will come into the full knowledge of God–and His Word– (which, in the natural, by no means can be exhausted) until that great day when we will see Him as He is–face to face; and become like Him. (1Jn. 3:2)
As you, my dear fellow blogger, continue to taste and see that the Lord is good (Psl. 34:8)…as you come to know all the more—from personal experience—that God is sweeter than honey and the honeycomb (Psl. 19:10), you will be back for more of this invaluable revelation by which this weblog has been anointed.
To this end, I encourage you to allow God’s Word and His teaching—by way of all His truly called and anointed vehicles, including this weblog—to have and do its perfect work in, and through you, so that you may be used as yet another anointed/called/set apart vessel He uses to pour out His rich deposit upon/into others.
God bless!
(This question was forwarded over here from another post)
Posted by Jennie
This has nothing to do with this blog but a question that has been plaguing my mind is on the concept of beauty and plastic surgery, are those who go for these procedures sinning and is the spirit of perversion/idolatry a major culprit behind it? If there is a topic already on this website please direct me, if not do you have any info about it? I would greatly appreciate it, thansks.
I was reading several of the posts on this site and although I agree with many, I profusely disagree with some of the things you are telling people….children.
I write this knowing that I will probably be moderated out and this post will never see the site, but hopefully, bias and self-protection will not force you to moderate my thoughts out.
Foodle Pants you are NORMAL. I have a son who is 14. He is only now discovering his sexuality. He has even asked about maturbation. I only ask that he is discreet, clean and respectful to others. No one needs to know what your doing, but your body is a beautiful thing….a temple. Respect it. If it doesn’t feel right, than it probably isn’t. No one can tell you what is right for your body. You are obviously old enough that your conscience, or G-d presence is strong enough to guide you. There should be no guilt or remorse when you encounter any sexual act. If there is, than maybe you should rethink what you’re doing.
Anavah……YOU QUOTED…..““3Who shall go up into the mountain of The Lord? Or who shall stand in His Holy Place? 4He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted himself up to falsehood or to what is false, nor sworn deceitfully. 5He shall receive blessing from The Lord and Righteousness from the God of his salvation. (Ps 24:3-5, AMP)” Notice how clean hands are directly related to purity of heart. How clean are your hands after you masturbate? Are these truly the same hands that you will lift before The Lord in worship? Think about that – Selah.”
Are we talking about our physical hands really? I think the truth is no. The passage itself is talking about dishonesty and deceitfulness, not sex. Now if someone used dishonesty to aquire sex, than the passage may work for this, but still not as a matter of the hands as a physical thing. My hands are dirty after gardening. Would I physically place my hand out for anyone after gardening, no. But does this make gardening a sin? Absolutely not. My hands (symbolically speaking) are not clean. I have sinned. I don’t believe personally in the idea of Christ’s blood washing me clean. But I’m not going to go into a debate on the finer points of sacrifice on a Christian blog. I would think that disrespectful. But the idea is…is that much of the bible is written in beautiful and metaphoric verse. Yes, discernment is necessary, but placing it out of context to what they’re actually talking about is disrespectful to what he had to endure.
I find your work for yourself and others respectful and sincere Laneen, but not as to disrespect you…you have had yours. You have had more than what you wanted, I’m certain. Many former prostitutes have an aversion for sex. Their ideologies regarding sex have become distorted over years of self abuse. I’m not saying for a fact that this is your case, but to exact that the bible is somehow states that masturbation equates as somehow having “dirty hands” before G-d is unbelievably simple and honestly a bit biased based on your standpoint. Meaning, it’s easy for you to say “turn away” when you’ve been there and done that and don’t have the desires you may have once had or the desperation for that matter.
Than again….maybe sexual feelings have not left you. They have dwindled somewhat for me, but not gone and I’m a bit like you. I have had uncountable partners also. Not from prostitution, but from self-destructive patterns that were based in little self respect and a need to feel loved, needed and wanted. Sheesh, maybe I’d been better off had I demanded money for my acts. At least there would have been something more than shame to show for my acts. But, do I believe that G-d is sitting in judgement over my self-destructive behavior….no. I see Him more as a kind and loving Father who gently tells me “Please don’t hurt yourself, you deserve better.” I think that’s what He did for you too.
My main point….To tell a child, or anyone for that matter that exploring their sexuality in safe ways is bad is extremely detrimental. People have been known to act out in horrendous sexual ways due to pent up sexual energy. I’m not saying that this will happen to this particular child, but you tread a fine line in acting as counsel to a child on sexual matters. Being saved from prostitution and into Christianity doesn’t give you a PHD in Psychology, nor does it make you an expert on biblical history and translation.
First, I would like to say that sexual arousal is NATURAL. It is a medically proven fact. Please research further Foodle. I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your parents, but if you are as open as I am with my children, talk to your parents. If not, please do find someone you respect and trust to talk to. The teenage years are difficult. There are so many changes in the body and mind happening. I know you’ve probably heard this before, but it’s true. Don’t be ashamed of your body, but don’t disrespect it either. It is the only body you have. It is the only mind you have.
I see the ways that people distort the writings of the bible to make these things sound true, but it’s just not. Much of the bible was written by people who lived LONG after the dead of Christ. Christ believed in LOVE. Nothing less. Perfect love. Perfect love does not judge, nor does it punish. There were so many verses given that distort what is being said. “Sexual immorality is a sin against your own body” was quoted. It’s NOT saying that by masturbating you’re committing sexual immorality! It’s saying that committing sexually immoral acts is a sin against your own body….just as it’s written!
People have planted their own negativity into the teachings of Christ. It’s just not so. When reading the teachings of Christ, leaving all of the other passages of the bible behind, you will find that he NEVER spoke of any of this negativity placed into Christian the Christian teachings of today. Heck, King James ADDED verses to keep the peasants down. It’s a known historical fact! He knew the people believed what the bible said and trusted the teachings, so he added verses that he believed would keep them from rising up against him. He was a tyrant and knew that it was the only way to keep his head off a block.
I implore you to study your history people. Don’t just take what you are told as written in stone. Study, research….find your own truth. G-d will place in you what He wants you to know and believe. It’s true. We are all ministers for Him if we open ourselves to the Truth. And I’m not talking about distorting the teachings to fit into your own guilt ridden ideology. I’m talking about finding out what the verses truly refered to and what Christ was talking about.
Part of the issue, as it has always been is in translation. There is no evidence that ANY of the current bibles in circulation are accurate and none of the original text have EVER been found. Therefore, what has happened over time is that PEOPLE have translated the text. Do you really believe that these people never inserted their own ideas or made mistakes? I’d venture to say that they ALL did. They are but human beings. There’s also evidence of other books of the bible in existence that the church (Catholic) has refused to acknowledge, so there it sits in the Vatican hidden from the public eye so that no one will turn away from them. There’s oodles of contraversy constantly online regarding the best translation of bible text, and what’s true or not and knowledgeable and educated people will admit and tell you that there is NONE. Trust your heart. If you are of sound mind and spirit, the Lord will make Himself and the Truth known to you.
I just know you’ll find your own truth and that truth will enclose you in pure Love. This Love will guide you by your own mind and heart. It’s what’s called G-d consciousness and it is a beautiful, powerful thing. No text can substitute for the real thing. He lives in all of us….not words in centuries old book that has been mistranslated and changed to fit the times.
And fortunately G-d came to people of all races and creeds all over the world and taught His words in different ways so that all sorts of people would be able to find Truth….not just in Christianity.
Blessings to you all……
Dear Psimanits,
I thank you for your comment. I don’t moderate people out because they do not agree with my beliefs. I only moderate comments out when they are nasty and/or very disrespectful and demeaning toward me or another blogger. Blogs to me are for diversity of opinions and beliefs to be explored in a way that can never happen in church and that is why I am open to discuss any thing respectfully.
I see from your use of the word “G-d” that you are a Jew or connected to Jewish roots to some degree. I don’t know if you are Messianic or not, but I want to let you know that I have a deep love and respect for the Jewish people, the ancestors of the Messiah, Yahushua that I love so much. So I extend my love to you and thank you for posting.
Because your comment is so long, and my experience is that many people like you never bother to come back and read my response to them (such as the foodle pants that you are defending) I am only going to address two elements of your comment for now. If you come back and respond then I will address the rest of your comment. This is what you wrote Psimantis:
“Anavah……YOU QUOTED…..““3Who shall go up into the mountain of The Lord? Or who shall stand in His Holy Place? 4He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted himself up to falsehood or to what is false, nor sworn deceitfully. 5He shall receive blessing from The Lord and Righteousness from the God of his salvation. (Ps 24:3-5, AMP)” Notice how clean hands are directly related to purity of heart. How clean are your hands after you masturbate? Are these truly the same hands that you will lift before The Lord in worship? Think about that – Selah.”
Are we talking about our physical hands really? I think the truth is no. The passage itself is talking about dishonesty and deceitfulness, not sex. Now if someone used dishonesty to aquire sex, than the passage may work for this, but still not as a matter of the hands as a physical thing.”
Psimantist, I do see the beautiful metaphoric symbolism in the Bible, but we should not overlook the literal messages that are plain before us while we search out symbolism. This scripture is certainly symbolic, but it is literal as well. The “hill” that this scripture speaks of is a literal hill, Mt. Zion and these hands are literal physical hands as well. This is according not only to the original meaning of the translated Hebrew word, but also within the context of the surrounding text. David the author of this Psalm makes a distinction between four separate requirements to achieve that special relationship with Yahweh that is described in the surrouding text: 1) clean hands, 2) pure heart, 3) no vanity 4) no deceit. And you are correct that clean hands is not referring to dirt on the hands but instead is a reflection of the things that you do with your hands and whether or not they are acts of Righteousness that Glorify The Father.
To further confirm this you can examine verse 6 which says, “This is the generation of them that seek him, that seek thy face, O Jacob. Selah. “ The revelation behind this entire text and the context thereof is that G_d is seeking those that are seeking Him, as opposed to seeking illegitimate ways to selfishly use their bodies for their own pleasures.
Will someone go to hell for masturbating? NO WAY! Do I believe that it will cause a gulf between them and Elohim who created them in terms of intimacy and relationship, ABSOLUTELY!
I have no aversion to sex. I am married. I really enjoy intimacy with my husband. We have a very pure yet diverse and exciting sexual life. Within the confines of marriage there is not much that we cannot enjoy if we are pure and FREE in Christ, and I am VICTORIOUSLY FREE! I am not bound by my past. I totally agree with you that SEXUAL URGES ARE NORMAL, and they are in no way sinful. However, how we choose to satisfy those urges can certianly be sinful my sister. I do iterate to you again that no one is going to hell for masturbating, but I do certainly believe that it can dillute the anointing on one’s life and Yahweh’s ability to use them as vessels of, not wood, but Gold.
What I want people to understand is that sexual perversion does not necessarily keep you from heaven because you can always be forgiven. It does not keep you from being a vessel because G_d can use a jackass. However, for those that want to rise above mediocrity in The Kingdom of Yah and really do great works in His name, these acts will hinder that goal. My message is not for everyone. It is for the remnant of people who are truly desiring to offer up “thier BODIES” as living sacrifices and be all that they can be for the G_d who saved them.
I have a 13 yr old son and I teach him these things my sister. I truly appreciate the compassion that you show toward ‘foodlepants’ and your own son. I would only hope that you add to that the impartation of a standard of morals that is far above what society and school sex ed teaches, a standard that measures up to the perfection of the God of Holienss that we serve and call our own. I hope that you add to your compassion as a mother a standard of Holiness and a desire to be GREAT for G_d’s Kingdom now while these children are young.
This is what I hope to teach people. IT IS NEVER MY AIM TO CONDEMN ANYONE. My Heavenly Father has been way too merciful to me for me to want to make anyone feel bad. I want the conviction of the Holy Spirit to cause people to consider their ways and think about what they really want out of life, how much they are really grateful for what Yah has doen for them, and how much they want to be used for the Kingdom. That is all I want to do Sis. I always ask people this question:
“What do you want from GOD? How bad do you want it? What are you willing to sacrifice to get it?”
But like I said, my message is not for everyone and I know this.
Shalom to you.
Thank you for not moderating me email. I know that’s a difficult thing to do when someone has opposing ideologies and it’s truly respectable.
Yes, abstinence has been widely regarded in many religious practices since the beginning of time. Some believe, as I also do, that anything material and/or Earthly can keep us from a relationship with G-d. It is seen in Buddhist, Hindu, Christian, Jewish and is now becoming more widely practiced in Islam as well. The idea for all in one way or another is that Earthly pleasures bind us and disallow us from seeing Truth and Light. Our attentions are swayed. Is this not even possible in marriage?
I think the challenge for us all as people seeking the Truth, is to define when Earthly things have come between us and our relationship with G-d.
Regarding masturbation, I think the positive aspects of abstinence bode well for all involved. If a child is aware of why abstinence could be better for them, it gives them the choice. It’s no longer based on the negative consequences of doing it, but on the positive outcome of not doing it.
I think one of my greatest legacies to my children has been the fact that I’ve allowed them the freedom to choose. I, being of a huge spectrum of spiritual beliefs daily lay before them different ideologies and beliefs so that they understand that there isn’t only one way to the Truth.
The Truth may be a truly undefined way to teach them, but in doing so, it allows them choices. I have made the choice to steer clear of their decision making unless 1) They will do harm to themselves or someone else 2) They ask and 3) They are truly confused and seemingly embarrassed or afraid to ask.
They are also aware that with choice is consequence. Action = Reaction Karma. Christianity, as well as most of the prominent religions believe in karma in one way or another.
Galatians 6:7 for example says “Do not be deceived: G-d cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.”
We choose to live by that as one of our highest creeds.
Yes, I am Jewish by nationality. I was raised in the synagogue with a practicing Jewish family. Around the age of 14, I was told about Christ. I had never known of Him before that. It was only the beginning of my spiritual quest for knowledge and Truth.
But, you see, I don’t believe Truth is meant for us to know all. I believe that we’re only given what we, as humans, can handle. It’s like the story of the Native Americans that couldn’t see the ships sitting in the ocean right in front of them. It was too far outside their realm of knowledge. Unfathomable….so unseen. It’s true. Just who knows what lives on this plane with us that we are too “blind” to see?
As far as my use of G-d. Believe it or not, it did come from my upbringing in knowledge of it, but as for use, it didn’t come until later. As you are probably already aware, G-d is a word created by man. YHWH or YHVH, the Tetragrammaton is the correct name of G-d which is unspeakable. This word initially found in Hebrew and Aramaic has so many translations and pronunciations that I seriously fear what we may be praying to in speaking the word incorrectly! But all joking aside, I grew up with the word Adonai as for the usage when not saying G-d.
Yeshua is also translated incorrectly. With all the linguists and religious leaders, still no one really knows what these words literal translations are! I would prefer if the actual Tetragrammaton was used in religious text in speaking of G-d under any pretext and I know there are a lot of people that advocate for it, but it’s obviously not happened yet.
As for what I do believe in… I am a mish-mash, mutt of all sorts of ideologies and teachings from everything from the oldest Earth religions, Sikh, Buddhist, Hindu, Islamic, Jewish, Christian, Native American and not any of these in that particular order. You see, I believe that the Truth can come from anywhere and much of the text of all religions and spiritualities hold a vast number of similiarities that make me believe that One G-d, One Maker, One Spirit, One Energy, One Teacher has taught us all. I think that they have all found Truths, but not the Whole Truth, and I do believe that many mistakes in translation as well as the “Chinese telephone” effect has marred the text over time. I also believe that much of the texts were written by humans and even though divinely inspired were they all, they still have human opinions thrown in. A good example is the King James Bible. It is proven to have changes that the King had made because he was afraid of an uprising of the peasants. He made changes to keep the people down. How many times has this happened?
Were you aware that Paul was gay? I liken it to the Republican homosexuals that hide their ways because if the people found out, they would lose their jobs. Not too many conservative Christian fellowships look kindly upon homosexuality and even moreso the deceitful people who hide it to make them like them. Are they abstaining for G-d…certainly not. Was Paul abstaining for G-d? Who knows for sure.
I attend a Universalist church and am not always happy with some of what I hear because sometimes Humanists tend to dominate the services, but they have their place too. I just find that church is a spiritual place and atheism doesn’t bring spirituality into mind for me. But just as you did not moderate me, I would never moderate them.
For now, I have to go, but thank you for listening to me go on and on! You’re a blessing!
Thanks Psimantis,
You speak many truths but I see at work in your life the spirit of Promiscuity. This spirit brings about confusion and prevents people from being able to make a firm choice about things. I want to send you my book, FOR FREE. I don’t do this for everyone, but that is just what is in my heart concerning you. You just have to pay the shipping and handling. Are you interested? Please let me know and we can continue to communicate.
By the way, where did you do the research that said Paul was gay? I would like to know.
Thanks, you’re a blessing too!
Yes, I would be interested in reading your book. I had already thought to do so.
In regards to Paul, I have researched the Bible and much other religious text quite, as has my fiance. As with all religious text, there are undercurrents in the “voice” of the writer. In our day, we have the ability to point out specific behaviors in persons to “diagnose” their personality. He speaks very frequently in a negative tone regarding women and sex in general. I invite you to read an article I found. It seems to best explain my ideas on the subject without butchering it like I would
Again, I apologize for the time between my replies. I’ve had a series of events that have kept me from doing my own choice of activities along with being chronically ill and just not wanting to communicate with the world at all. I didn’t forget ya!
I’m not sure if I believe in a particular “spirit” of promiscuity. I don’t live a promiscuous life, yet as I said, I also once did. I believe in lower energy though and from personal experience, I am regularly “attacked” by some kind of energy. I have found ways to fend them off, but usually those things are temporary and they break through eventually. I think that’s particularly linked to the fact that I’m physically ill and when my guards are down, they find their way through.
I don’t believe in “demons” at all though. As I said before, something tells me that there are other beings amongst us that for whatever reason, we just can’t see. Energy beings maybe? They get life and energy from stealing ours. For many people the 2nd chakra is attacked, Hara. It is the sexual energy source. I think they are as real as us though. Problem is, they are detrimental to our spiritual growth, because by stealing energy from whatever chakra, they take what our bodies and spirits need to be whole. It’s like filling the shelves at the grocery store. The stockers keep working to get the shelves full, but hungry customers keep taking, so they refill them again and so on. The only difference is, they are stocking so that we will buy and I for sure and not attempting to fill my spirit so that some energy being can fill their hungry stomach!
Whatever the case may be, I won’t ever stop fighting it. I have a feeling that once I reach menopause, it will leave me. I know now that it is real though. My fiance has seen my flesh actually move to its touch. Scary huh?
I continue fighting though. I have found several solutions, yet as I said, most temporary. Prayer isn’t enough. I have found for myself that I have to use many different systems of spiritual practice and ritual to enclose myself and my home in a protective barrier. It’s exhausting and more work than what anyone should have to do to find peace. I fear my sanity is in danger at times now and I’m so tired I cannot function normally much of the time. When I do get a reprieve, I feel lucky and I attempt to mimic the behavior I used the night before.
There are some teachings in Eckankar that help. Eckankar in and of itself is NOT a religion….only supplimental to spiritual practice and seems to help with this particular energy. That’s what I used last night. I searched out a sleep guide for protection and also used some prayer and it worked. Maybe it had nothing to do with what I did, but maybe it did.
See, I just think that we, as human, just don’t know enough about G-d or what else there is. I just cannot for the life of me believe in hell or demons. I think there’s a scientific explanation to go along with every single spiritual belief and in no way are these things particular to one religion or belief, they work universally because they are of the law of physics, not some kind of word or knowledge. Just as Christ was gifted to use his psyche in ways unknown to many. I think that there were vast mistranslations in his “I am the way” sermon. I think he was attempting to teach others what he was gifted with. He knew that his gifts were G-d given, but he also realized that these things weren’t beyond the everyday guy. He knew that they were gifts we all have, yet cannot use for whatever reason. Lack of open mind? Lack of consciousness of our ability?
Just as you and I have abilities that people with mental retardation lack, Christ had abilities that we lack.
Unfortunately, I delved into some of those innate abilities of man, and connected with a whole different world amongst us. I believe that’s what’s happened to me. I have been working with dreams and sleep since I was 13 and have the ability to be mentally wide awake while my body sleeps. I can tell you what is happening around the house, or what’s on tv for hours and hours, but not able to move my body due to hypnagogia; the body sleeping while the mind is awake. This is generally the state I’m in when the “attacks” occur. I have only found one way to come out of this state and that is to focus all of my energy on one finger and attempt to move it. Generally, I can awaken myself.
Okay, off to work I go…..
Sorry I’m so long-winded and I jump around so much, but I normally write to you in the morning and I’m yet fully awake! I’m hyper anyway
Lovin ya sister….
Here is the Paul link! Helps to have the link huh?
http://www.beliefnet.com/story/142/story_14299_1.html
I have been struggling for many years with masturbation. Started as a teen ager. I was saved when I was nine but have back slid several time over the years. I lost my virginity at the age of 15 and since then I have had several partners and a fair share of heartbreaks along the way. I am 28 now and am a single mother. I struggle daily to live a pure life and I have not had sex for over a year. But I still struggle with masturbation, I want to stop but I dont know how. I know God want to use me to reach out to other women but I have been unwilling to step into the fulness of that calling. Please help
Dear Please Help,
Deliverance is a deep and intricate process. The first thing that you must do is stop beating yourself up! God’s grace covers you in your weakness so don’t let this act make you think any less of yourself because God certainly doesn’t as long as you have a repentive heart.
You really need to evaluate what your issue is. Are you struggling with a spirit of masturbation, or a spirit of lust. There is a stark difference between the two and knowing the difference is important in terms of how you go about gettting delivered.
Until then, you need to take some practical precautions like avoiding people, places and things that trigger sexual urges within you.
I will list the twelve steps of deliverance, but if you have been struggling this deep for this long, you really need some in-depth knowledge to help you move beyond this. It would do you well to order The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook, http://www.victoriouslyfree.org
Here are the 12 steps :
Deliverance for the soul man
Step 1 – Confession/Acknowledgement: The very first thing that you need to do is to acknowledge within yourself that you have a problem. This step is about being honest with yourself.
Step 2 – Discovery: The second thing that needs to happen is the discovery of how demon spirits entered into your life. This is a very important step because it will give you the insight that you need to make sure those openings are closed forever. The four main entranceways for demons are: Generational curses, Involuntary exposure, Spiritual Wounds, Voluntary.
Step 3 – Renewing the mind: The mind must be renewed in order for change to take place. Our mind is the control center of our being. Feed it the proper information from the Word of God and by all means please keep it free of corruption!
Deliverance for the spirit man
Step 4 – Confession/Admittance: After you have been honest with yourself and acknowledged that you have a problem, you need to be honest with God and admit to Him that you have a problem. Do not be shy with God; He already knows anyway; just lay it all on the table.
Step 5 – Penitence/Humility: Penitence is that next step after admittance. Not only must you admit your sins to God, but you must also experience brokenness and remorse over your sins. Penitence is about humility of spirit and there will be no deliverance without it.
Step 6 – Confession/Exposure: The third and final aspect of confession is exposure. This aspect of confession is about exposing your sins to an upright Christian. Do not forget the two reasons that you need to fulfill the exposure aspect of confession, 1) the protection of accountability, and 2) the power of intercession.
Step 7 – Forgiveness and letting go: Deliverance cannot take place if you refuse to forgive others because it will prevent Jesus from healing you. It will also cause your heart to be hard and embittered, making it impossible for the Holy Spirit to work with it. Finally, it will deny you God’s forgiveness of your sins which will prevent you from connecting and fellowshipping with Him.
Step 8 – Spiritual Warfare: Putting on your spiritual armor: Do not forget about the five pieces of your spiritual armor, which will be used to defend yourself from the attacks of the enemy: The Belt of Truth, The Body Armor of Righteousness, The Shoes of peace, The Shield of Faith, The Helmet of Salvation
Step 9 – Spiritual Warfare: Using your spiritual weapons: Let us also remember that God has given us mighty weapons of attack that enable us to go after the enemy and defeat him:
The Sword of the Word, The Power of Praise, The Power of Christian Fellowship, Praying and Fasting
Step 10 – Spiritual Warfare: Retreat and replenish: In every long war there are times when the warriors must retreat and replenish themselves. Do not forget to rest in the presence of God and be rejuvenated through true worship.
Deliverance for the flesh man
Step 11 – Discipline of the flesh: Deliverance in the flesh man is all about discipline. Your body cannot control you! It is the sin nature of the flesh, which is the power of satan that causes you to sin. Fasting is the best way to learn discipline.
Step 12 – Walking after The Spirit: Once deliverance has taken place in your life, it must be maintained daily by walking after the Spirit. Deliverance is not a once and for all deal. If you do not maintain it, you can lose it. Remember to protect the gateways to your mind. Keep them free of all contamination, corruption and sinful influences by meditating on God’s Word constantly.
I hope this helps and hope you will order the book.
Our 24 yr old son just came out with the fact that he is into a sexual preverted lifestyle (BDSM). He has no intention of changing and says he does not believe in God. We are Christians and cannot support this. He has been living with us under the pretense of him working and getting his education over with, which he has been doing but also while living this dark life. We have removed him from the house after finding photos in his room that told the whole story (more than he was willing to share). I am devasted and confused. The little bit of research that I have done has sickened me but it also led me to this blog. If you or someone has any advice for me as a Christian mom, I would appreciate it. Other than cry and pray, I don’t know what to do.
Dear DJ,
Thanks for writing. I will definitely be praying for you and your son. I know that it is devastating to raise a child the best that you know how and then watch them go astray, but I commend you for taking the stand that you did against unrighteousness because your son is at an accountable age and must be responsible for his own actions.
Unfortunately, there is not much more that you can do for your son other than to pray for him, continue to love him and be a living epistle before him. You can’t bend his will. You can however speak to his mind and command his thoughts to come in line with the Word of God. If you confess this over him daily along with your other prayers for him, I believe he will eventually come back into the light.
What your son is dealing with sounds like the spirit of lasciviousness. This is indeed one of the most difficult spirits to break free of and it is the spirit that turns people completely against God. That is the very assignment of this spirit as a matter of fact. With lasciviousness always comes witchcraft, another incrediby strong spirit. This is not to discourage you, but I want you to understand how very serious this issue with your son is.
I think it would be really helpful if you read my book. No one just stumbles into lascivousness. It happens over time and usually starts in childhood. The book can help you discover the links that possibly led your son into this lifestyle so that you can minister to him and pray for him effectively. Please order it and I will stay in touch with you.
Here is the link for ordering http://www.victoriouslyfree.org
If you are ordering internationally please let me know. I will give you a different link or a phone number you can call.
Stand strong, your son will be delivered!
Thank you for your quick response. I ordered your book and will read it. I may have questions after reading it.
Please feel free to stay in touch with me concerning the book or any other questions you may have and I will continue to stand in agreement with you for your son’s deliverance.
I am reading your book. Right in the beginning you make comments about this being a generational curse or family bloodline. I have seen no such thing in my side of the family but of course there could have been on his father’s side. This is the same comment I had from a short conversation with a counselor from “Focus on the Family” this week. It’s very hard for me to understand this. Do you cover this later on in the book?
He has become very cocky and ugly toward us and my sorrow turned to anger which caused me to stop praying for him. I believe this is also the work of satan which I need to be careful of.
Hi DJ,
I’m usually not around on the weekends so thanks for your patience.
I am glad that you have the book DJ. Please, be anxious for nothing. I do sense an anxiousness in you about this whole matter. You can only do what you can, the rest is up to God. Let Him work. Remember that He is not bound by the confines of time such as we are. He is never anxious about anything because His perfect will is always done.
Yes, I do talk about generational curses later on in the book, in the deliverance section. Please understand that a generational curse is not an automatic notice that a person will repeat what their ancestors have done. It is a warning that it creates a predisposition spiritually for a person to be involved in such activities. A generational cusre alone will not determine whether or not someone is bound by a particular stronghold, nor is it necessary for a generational curse to be present in order for a person to be bound.
The anger you are experiencing is normal and you are right when you say that you cannot pray for someone effectively when you are angry with them because it cancels out compassion. I talked about forgiveness in the book too. The book is like a textbook, let the Holy Spirit lead you on how to read it. I do encourage you to read the entire book, but if you need to jump around on some days to find what you need, so be it.
Lastly please grasp hold to this most important revelation of the book, sexual perversion is not really about sex, it is about distorting worship. You may even have some of these spirits operating in your own life on a spiritual level and have never noticed it. This what most people who purchase the book “to help someone esle” end up learning. The more pure you are, themore you will be able to help your son. So just let your heart be open as you read so the Holy Spirit can effectively lead you.
Stay in touch!
Hie.
I would like to find out how best we get get our selves up, after falling into sexual sin before marriage. i recently had oral sex with my friend whom i fellowship with after one thing led to another.
i feel so empty and without the LORDS protection.
disparately need to get back into a good relationship with the almighty.
Hi Paul,
Thanks for writing and I apologize for the delay in my response. FYI and I am eight months pregnant and preparing myself and home for the arrival of my new baby, so my computer time has been scarce.
Your question is a great one. Falling into sexual sin can make you feel so empty and lost and DIRTY! It is not hard to overcome the negative emotional impact of a fall but it is easy to overcome it spiritually. It is a simple matter of receiving Yah’s forgiveness and accepting the complete work that Jesus did for us on the cross.
One scripture that helped me so very much Paul is found in the book of Ephesians 1:4-5, “4 Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. 5 God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. ”
This scripture helped (and stil does) me so much because if He chose me before the world was even made, it means in His ominscience (all-knowingness), that He chose me knowing that I would fall. Knowing that he would not be able to tolerate my sins, he came up with a plan that had nothing to do with my rightousness or lack thereof. He brought us to himself through Jesus Christ (Yeshua the Messiah) by grace and found pleasure in doing so! Hallelujah!!!
My favorite part of the scripture is where he says that I have been chosen to be Holy and without fault “in His eyes”. This means that how he sees me has nothing to do with my actions, but only depends upon whether or not I have accepted the Blood of Yeshua as my covering!
Isn’t that awesome! I talk about these things in-depth in my book, “The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook” and the accompanying conference CDs. I would really encourage you to purchase these matirials for yourself and your friend who you have fallen with. Make this investment in your spiritual future and get the fullness of the revelation.
Thanks so much for writing and I hope to see your order come in soon. You can get my book from Amazon.com. That is the cheapest way to purchase it, however, if you want other products with it, I suggest getting it directly from my website where I offer exclusive products and discounts (www.victoriouslyfree.org/Product_Catalog.html)
Thanks so much for reaching out!
Thanks, Laneen, for such a straight-forward ministry on this subject. While there are many other issues affecting the spiritual life of fully devoted followers of Christ, I agree that at the root of many of these issues is the nature of our relationship with other people. The nature of those relationships are made more intense (and subject to spiritual bondages) through sexual activity. You have been giventhis mission. Do not be deterred. Keep the focus where Chirst leads you. I just found your site today and will be purchasing your book. Stay blessed!
i am a born again christian filled with the holy spirit but i got thi thing troubling me Sis, when i returned back to the Lord i had no boyfi but after some years i got a so caled friend within 1body but he never wanted to admit that he is my guy but instead he kept on coming to my home and prtend to be a friend then we would end up having sex oh yes devil sex then 1 morning i asked him what are we then he said to me girl let us be friends as we first agreed but forgeting that when he first kissed me stripped me of naked tossed me around we were no longer friends,this broke my heart because those who know him know the gift he has and that realy hurts me and it realy got me wondering if there is one true young person living for God otu there,then that i got over it so i got another guy but the problem is we are having sex and he is open about his feelings and how he feels abotu me all that im worries me is how do i ask him to actually marry me he’s got his own money(he’s a miner and i am an artsan but not yet emplyed in the field yet and im still fighting to finish my national diploma in this),so i dont want him to think i am a gold digger hope you get my Q? all i am saying is how do i go back to not having sex with this guy im am with now and let him know that no ringy no dinggy without putting the relationship in ruin and going forward witrh god and us knowing what we want from each other,its killing me to be kneeling down approaching the father, i dont want to shame him find myself pregnant, unmarried because those things i dont expect so i refuse to experience them but now im travelling to that.please help me not to be the bed for for guys but be a women that one man should look at and want to marry and make me their one.Hope you feel the pain i feel within my 23years 4months old jorney.i feel old for the datting game i just want to get married and put an end to the sexual game wich guys within the kingdom dont realise how much they are hurting us,literally recreating jezebel in us.hhhhhhhhhhhhelp!
Hi! I luv ur site. glad to meet another Christian blogger!!
Stop by my weblog @ http://scripture4u.wordpress.com
Keep in the Faith!!!
-neogotchi
Dear Hey!
Your delimma is a common one, but is also an unnecessary one. You talk about your relationship with God but it is obvious that is not your primary concern, it is your secondary concern. You are first focused on being in a relationship with a man and then concerned with being in a unhindered relationship with The Lord.
I do understand your pain. I have been there before. I was about the same age as you are now too when I went through this stage. There came a point in time Sis when I had to make up my mind if I really going to let God be first in my life or not. You cannot put marriage and relationships on timetable. If you try and rush and find your own mate, you may choose wrong. If you are willing to wait on the Lord for him to send you a husband, there is just no telling when that will be. One thing I have learned for sure about God is that He is very seldom in a rush to do anything. He is not restricted by our time constriants. He is focused on our destiny in His Kingdom and He will take as much time as He needs to perfect that in us.
When I finally made the decision to kiss dating and fornication good bye and really focus on being available to my first husband, The Lord, it was then that he blessed me with my Boaz. I suggest that you end the relationship that you are in now. Consecrate yourself so you can get cleansed. I also encourage you to order The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook. It will help you overcome the demonic influences that keep drawing you back into fornication.
I hope that these words have helped you. Please feel free to contact me again if you need to.
with Love,
Anavah
Hi, I want you to know that your book was a blessing to me. I received your book from Dr. Diane Clark and it has been a blessing to many of the people at our church. Well, I led a very promiscuous lifestyle and I used to watch pornography a lot also. I am single now and it seems like I am always fantasizing about who I am going to marry, like I see some guy in our church or some random guy and I begin to fantasize about what it would be like if I married that person. I also fantasize about what sex is going to be like once I am married. I think it about it constantly. I no longer watch pornography and I am practicing abstinence. What can I do to have a pure thought life and to have Jesus as my focus and not fantasize about when I am going to get married?
ERATE need of Dental care o( I do wish to be added to mailing list PLEASE)
I have been coming to this site for 2 months now and have concluded that maybe you do care.
I am 49 yrs. old and have always not been able to fellowship
in peace with those relatives. ( and it is ALWAYS is all
my fault) And my side of the family a good portion of them are
pentacostal tongue spitting pew jumping saints. My husbands
and I don”t even bother but maybe every couple of yrs. to fellowship. I have ALWAYS from a small child been the BLACKEST sheep on my side of the family. I know my mother
they didn”t care for her either. My hubby and I just got tired of driving so far to visit and there is accusing me of this and bringing up this that and the other esp. when I were a child.
The only one who truly loved me was my 94 yr old Granny
who never did critize me and find FAULT with me all the time.
I need your answered prayers that God would open up
immediately some employment close to home and that is not
to demanding on my PHYSICAL body. I just need someone to really pray cause i am not able to pray like i use to.
Just got done being homeless homeless and i am in DESPr they say I will die from gum
poising. My hubby of 30 yrs.. is FAITHFUL @ his job but i need to go back to work soon. Does God Really still care?
Thank You much
Dear Thirsty For More of God,
Thank you so much for the testimony about how my book has blessed your life. I do understand your struggle with fantizing about marriage. I used to be right there with you. First I want to tell you to please read the section of the book that talks about sexual fantasy and pornography. It will give you insight into your issue and your understand that sexual fantasy is just a type of manifestation for the greater spirit of fantasy. I am willing to bet that you fantasize about other things as well. You need to bind and break the spirit of fantasy that is operating in your life and focus on renewing your mind. Remember, fantasy is not truth. Put the truth of God’s Word in Your mind. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you scriptures to meditate on and whenever fantasy attacks your mind use the Sword of the Word (the scriptures the Spirit that gives you) to kill its power in your life. Also, it will really help to have a personal decree of victory that targets your areas of weakness that you recite every day.
I pray this helps. Please stay in touch!
Dear Betty,
I really feel your pain. Your plea really touched my heart because I have been right where you are: going through so many hardships that I began to wonder if God really cared about me at all.
I will definitely pray for you, but you can never stop praying for yourself and believing in the God that loved you enough to die for you. I had to come to this conclusion for myself and cast down the devil’s lies. The only proof that we ever need as to whether or not God cares for us is the fact that Jesus died on the cross for us.
I did a 30 installment series on this blog called “A Spiritual Famine” that dealt with this very issue. It taught us how life’s challenges can cause us to question the Father’s love and how to overcome these challenges victoriously. I think it would help you so much to read this Betty. I have compiled the series into a book. I would love to send you a copy. Go to my website http://www.victoriouslyfree.org and click on the Product Catalog link. You will see the book there, “A Spiritual Famine: The Testing of Your Faith”.
I believe the message in this book is just the thing you need right now to get over this hump in your life.
My love is with you, but more importantly God’s love is with you.
~Anavah~
Dear Lady,
Im very impressed with your website and what you say on here and the person that you are, you have my highest respect.
I agree with the things you say, I know that in my heart you are right and you know what loving sex is.
I have a problem though and I really need your help: Ive been seeing my boyfriend for 6 months now and a few days ago he confessed that he once had anal sex with his ex wife but that they didnt enjoy it, I felt disgusted when he mentioned he had anal sex, what should I do? I told him never to contact me again, but I do love him, but I have a loving idea of sex and maybe he doesnt? we havent had sex yet…
should I forgive him or is he a pervert? Please help me cus I feel he has a good soul although he did that thing…
Dear Hannah,
I thank you for your kind words of encouragement. Concerning your situation with your boyfriend I do offer the following comments.
I don’t know if you read my story at my website (www.victoriouslyfree.org) or not. So just in case you haven’t let me tell you that I came from a very perverted past. One of the major problems that I had was people judging me for my past. I can remember one particularly painful occasion when my then fiancee ridiculed me when I confessed to him my past homosexual activities. I told him this in confidence thinking that he loved me for me and I was very hurt that he threw my confession back in my face and used it to belittle me. It seems to me that you are doing the same thing to your boyfriend. It seems that what he confessed to you is a part of his past that he is ashamed of and probably wanted to get it off of his chest.
Having said that I am not saying that you should stay in a relationship with him. You have to be honest with yourself. Can you really handle someone who has that kind of past? Not everyone can Hannah and it is better to face that now than 5 years into a miserable marriage — you know what I mean? Engaging in anal sex with his ex-wife and then feeling the need to confess it to you this many years later is indicative of an inner struggle with homosexuality. This does not mean he has performed homosexual acts, but he may have, or he may be struggling with these temptations. If you stay in this relationship with him you will have to be willing to help him work through these issues without belittling him, which would only push him further into perversion.
It is good that you have not had sex yet. Sexual relations should be reserved for marriage if and when the two of you do get married. Of course, getting married doesn’t cure one of perversion. Getting delivered from perversion takes deliberate effort on the part of the one that is struggling so if you two marry and these issues have not been dealt with, you will face problems in the marriage.
Order a copy of my book and read it. I think it will help you make your decsion. After reading it, if you decide to continue in a relationsip with your boyfriend then the two of you should read it together and go through the process of deliverance.
Hannah, regardless of what decision you make, please call your boyfriend and apologize to him for how harshly you dealt with him. I am sure he feels just terrible about that. You can order the book on my website http://www.victoriouslyfree.org
Hoping this will help,
Anavah
Dear Anavah,
thank you for your answers… I have to say it was ME who asked if he every had anal sex in his life, dont know why I asked, I suddenly felt he may have done some perverted stuff in the past, I asked him this on the telephone… and he is an honest person and told me that he tried it cus his ex wife asked him to and he said they only did it once and they didnt like it… does this really mean he has homosexual tendensies if he did it to please his wife? So he didnt confess it, I asked him a very straightforward question, which maybe I shouldnt have asked… Another thing that bothers me is, I was lying on my tummy on his bed once and he came lie on me from behind on me and I told him I didnt like that, I said it made me feel like an object and he called me prudish! I told hom that positions from behind are degrading to me and that they arent loving… he respected my feelings I think, but how come men act that way? are they animals? are they incapably of having loving and beautiful sex? How do I really make it clear to him how offputting it is and how animalistic? Or do you think he is the wrong man for me? Please your advice, you are great!
Hannah,
Thanks for bringing more clarity to exactly how the conversation came about. If your ex had anal sex simply to comply with his ex-wife’s wishes and only told you about it because you asked him, then I certainly would not say that puts him at risk for homosexual tendencies.
It’s quite possible that his willingness to engage in this sexual act at his wife’s request in spite of his discomfort with the idea shows his desire to please her. I don’t know if this is the case, but it could be possible. It depends on whether or not he had ever had anal sex before or after that. But it does seem likely that he aims to please since he respected your opinion about back entry positions.
Concerning men in general and sexuality, you have to understand that sex serves a different purpose for men than it does for women, especially outside of the confines of marriage. “Lovemaking” does not come naturally to a man. It is something that he learns within a loving marriage. He is taught both by his wife and by God. Unfortunately, most men engage in so much sexual activity outside of marriage that by the time they are married they are already trained to engage in “animalistic sex” (as you called it). This makes the wife’s job much harder.
To be quite honest with you Hannah, I am much more concerned about you at this point than I am your ex-boyfriend. You seem to have some very unrealistic expectations about sex and relationships and seem to have a disdain for intercourse. Were you molested or raped? Were you raised in a relgious household or church where you were told many negative things about sex? Are you yourself a virgin?
I hope you don’t mind me asking. I am just trying to help you get to the bottom of this so I can give you some sound advice. Staying with or Leaving this current boyfriend does not really seem to be the core issue here. Let’s find out what it really is.
Dear Anavah,
I think you are rgiht that a man is “tought ” by the women he is with how to make love etc… yes I am a virgin and I would love to make love to a man I love and respect and he respects me but in a loving way… I have been in bed with this guy and we fooled around, but didnt have “intercourse” cus I want to do it with someone I totally trust and not use contraception and let nature takes its course. I wasnt raised in a religious household but I do want a man to be gentle and loving with me in bed, does that make me prudish? I have a healthy desire for sex but for sex in a passionate way and not some guy who wants to “screw me”… like you say in your article, I love eye contact and the feeling that Im really close with my boyfriend… we are engaged with each other and he asked me to marry him, I believe he loves me … he told me even that he cares a lot more for me then he does about sex… He didnt seem to understand though that I find “rear-entry “positions degrading, and it makes me feel like an object. I had a boyfriend a few years ago and he was a sensitive man and even commented that he could never have sex with a woman in that position, thats its higly impersonal and vulgar, so there are sensitive men out there who have a loving idea of sex and not just wanna “screw someone”… Sorry for my choice of words, but I wanted to make it clear…
Dear Hannah,
I think we have finally tapped into what the core issue really is. The core issue is your misunderstanding concerning what constitutes “lovemaking”. Lovemaking is done within the confines of a legal and God-ordained marriage. Real LOVE is not romance. Real Love is committment and sacrifice. Real love waits and real love is patient. Real love is willing to make that life-long committment of marriage. Real Love is God — the Bible says that GOD is LOVE.
A woman can only teach a man how to make love if she herself has been made by God to teach him, and the man can only recieve what his wife teaches him if God enables him to.
The second core issue Hannah is that you do not understand what perversion really is. Any sexual act that takes place outside of the confines of marriage is perversion. Perversion simply put means to use something inappropriately or for the wrong purpose. Sex outside of marriage is a misuse of human intimacy and is therefore perversion.
Hannah, engagements are often broken and men lie. If you have sex before you are married you may give up your virginity to a man that is not really willing to marry you. Men love a “prudish” girl. She is a challenge to them and they will say anything to take that woman’s virginity. Once he has what he wants, once he has conquered his virgin, the excitement of the relationship is over and all of that “Love” talk goes down the toilet. The only way you will know if a man is really willing to marry you is if he actually does!
Further more Hannah, you talk of having sex without protection. If your man really loves you and he is not a virgin, he should be willing to take an HIV test before you get married. He should love you enough to be sure that he won’t hurt you. But even more so than that Hannah, a condom cannot protect you from a broken heart, nor can it protect you from the influences and exchange of spirits of perversion if sex occurs in a perverse way (outside of marriage).
Hannah, I don’t know how old you are, but you have a precious gift that very few women have these days – your virginity. I urge you to really get an understanding of what perversion really is. Get an understanding of what love really is. Give your heart to Jesus and let God teach you about real LOVE. Let God bring the right man into your life to marry you. Until then, stop playing with fire. Protect your virginity, protect your heart, protect your body and protect your spirit. Stay out of the bed with men and stop “fooling around” before you get burned. The fire is hotter than you can even imagine. Trust someone who has been there.
Hannah please order my book. I think it will really help you alot and will totally change how you view sex, relationships and perversion.
Dear Anavah,
Im in my thirties and when i told my boyfriend that Im still a virgin he found this weird and “abnormal” (his words) but I knew he was only saying an opinion of ” the masses” and I know he liked me for being different and having a mind of my own…the fight we had on friday was about the fact that after we had been fooling around I had pain in my ovaries so I was afraid I had a disease from him, so I went to the doc for some blood… and on friday he told me on the phone (after I asked him) if he had anal sex, so then I became really frightened that he maybe gave me a serious STD and I texted him that evening saying that maybe he gave me aids and that he is a bastard ( sorry for the words I use but I was so afraid and angry at him for not testing himself earlier) . He also told me that all his ex girlfriends had some time when he was with them a bacterial infection in their vaginas, but he explained as if its a normal thing and that his ex wife got it from swimming in dirty water… he told me that he only had 3 partners and all very long term and he was always faithful he said… I havent heard from him since this friday, since I accused him of maybe giving me an STD and saying he may be gay ( I was very angry and very scared that maybe I could become infertile cus I had pain !)… two weeks ago when we were in bed and we were gonna do “it” it didnt go that well cus it hurted, so he didnt enter me! and then he said that the best position is where the woman sits on her hand and knees, that way he could penetrate more forceful, I was hurt, I felt he didnt understand how important that moment was to me and that I wanted it to be loving and with our faces towards each other, and there he was saying to go on hands and knees so he could penetrate me harder from behind, cus it wasnt working how we were doing it ( me sitting on him) he said that penetration from behind is the best position cus its on one line, I dont know where he got that nonsense, but he reads lots of books and is a walking encyclopedia… do you really think I can change this man into a loving and sensitive lover? I know he has a good heart, cus I was very angry after his but he understood me afterwards and said he loves me and loves me a lot more then just for sex, cus tobe honest, he NEVER pressures me into sex or initiates it, he just loves being with me and holding hands etc, I know he also said he did “everything” with his ex wife, that made me feel bad too, thats why it would perfect in life if we all had ONE partner forever, there would be no comparisons, and no hurt, cus it hurts me that he has been with other women… he also watches pornography and told me that he gets ideas from it, but I told him its cold and unloving and he later agreed with me and said that he learned a lot from me… is there hope in this relationship? i do feel he is a good man inside with a good soul.
Hannah,
At this point I think you should read my article on the home page entitled “Should I End This Relationship”. It will give a little more insight. Other than that, I gave you the best advice that I could offer you in my last post to you. Here it is again:
“Hannah … you have a precious gift that very few women have these days – your virginity. I urge you to really get an understanding of what perversion really is. Get an understanding of what love really is. Give your heart to Jesus and let God teach you about real LOVE. Let God bring the right man into your life to marry you. Until then, stop playing with fire. Protect your virginity, protect your heart, protect your body and protect your spirit. Stay out of the bed with men and stop “fooling around” before you get burned. The fire is hotter than you can even imagine. Trust someone who has been there.
Hannah please order my book. I think it will really help you alot and will totally change how you view sex, relationships and perversion.”
It’s time for you to make your decision now and deal with the subsequent consequences of that decision whether good or bad. By the way, I can’t stress enough to you that having unprotected sex is a bad idea. Men lie, don’t be so naive Hannah.
With Love,
Anavah
Thank you for your comment,
Its true, men lie, but I had the feeling that he was honest with me… is it bad to put faith into someone?
I had this pure idea of going to bed with someone and then do that unprotected, cus if he loves me, it will be ok, but you are right, what do I really know about this man? I only know myself.
Thank you for caring…
Dear Anavah,
Where do I begin? after 30 plus years of marriage living as a believer the entire time with a husband who lasted maybe two years early on in the marriage as a believer I am needing sound bibical counsel. I have read your book and it was enlightening and very much on point with in the areas of specifics. My husband has dealt in pornography, masturbation, adultry, and drug abuse most of the marriage. He has entered into a deep phase of porn etc. We now sleep in separate rooms. His room is like a pig sty. Whenever I step in there for anything which is rare I can feel darkness. Some years ago he was in an affair with another woman for several years. at that time I conviced myself to stay for the sake of our children. Once the kids were gone and grown I stayed due to lack of finances after a less than profitable business venture. Now it is simply not wanting to be homeless. The career I have pursued is challenging. I defintely feel a tug from God to become more available to Him however I feel like I am tied. Relationally there is only care and concern for my husband as a human being, erotic love has been a non- issue for quite a while now. There are too many diseases to be concern with, and then the whole soul tie thing I feel it’s all coming to a head in some way but I am not sure how. Just recently I had one dream where I felt terror and in my heart knew something terrible had happen to him. I ask Holy Spirit what did the dream mean. In another dream after this one he (my husband) said that he was too far out there he was screwing children something he always frowned on others for doing. Now this dream really distrubed me. We have grands. This morning he called my cell phone by mistake thinking it was his drug dealer. I told him he needed to seek treatment and counseling he was going down hill. He claims he wants to stop but his repsonse was he does not feel like couseling will help him, that those place have a high failure rate. To me that is an exuse and he has not fallen deep enough. I feel more comple to leave now than ever , should I? Voices of guilt are tyring to tell me that Jesus did not give up on me, and how can I spread the word to others when I can’t help the onw in my own house. Laneen he actually says he feels like building a closer relationship with me is the way to get him better. Well I have forgiven him for all of what has been done, but there is a large gulf fix between us because our core beliefs are opposing. I told him if he sought help I would support him but I would not continue to watch him destroy him self. I could go on but I won’t you spoke on these issues in your book, what advice would you give somebody 50 something in this type situation?
Thanks,
Seeking Answers
The church in a bid of expansion puts many men who are in adultery and other sins in positions of authourity because there is no knowledge of what they do outside the church. A friend’s husband cheated on her and is threatening to work out should she speak out to the church. She asked the church not to ordain him as a deacon and rather than ask her why, the leadership called the husband and asked him why is the wife saying so. Imagine how many backsliders would find lying about their deeds difficult. The husband told them she is just not submissive. They tell her to go and submit.This friend is in a dilemna because she wants to keep the home but feels bad that the husband is not repentant. He has refused to see any counsellor. Please advise on what she should do. Meanwhile the husband takes leadership positions in church and they are both seen as eladers.
Dear Seeking Answers,
I have chosen to address your question on the main page in an article entitled, “Should I Leave My Cheating Husband.” Please post all further comments concerning this matter in that post.
Thanks
Dear Anonymous,
This is such a sad and unfortunately also a common truth in church organizations. I can recall one of my own experiences. I was in an adulterous affair with the assistant pastor of one of my former churches. I was a backslider at the time and he was supposedly “counseling” me.
As I grew in the Lord I ended the relationship. Later the Pastor of the church wanted to elevate me to Evangelist and put me over the youth ministry. I did not feel justified in my spirit accepting the elevation without my pastor knowing what I had done with the assistant pastor, even though the relationship had ended and I had since gotten married. I confessed my sin to both my Pastor and the assistant pastor’s wife. This is what every leader should do, but we all know that what actually should be done is not always carried out!
The assistant pastor lied and claimed that we had not had an affair. His wife believed him, but the Pastor did not. My Pastor forgave me and still elevated me. But he told the assistant pastor that he must confess and repent or else… Well lo and behold, the assistant pastor never did confess or repent. But you know what? He was never sat down or never even disciplined.
I eventually left the church because 3 Prophets told me that my Pastor had the spirit of Eli. I also received a Word from the Lord directly that the Pastor was going to die within a certain time and then the assistant pastor would become the Pastor. Everything happened as the Lord said it would and last I heard, that man that cheated on his wife with me, without ever confessing or repenting, is currently the pastor of the church. The sad thing about it is that there are several bishops and superintendents within the organization that know about the situation and no one ever stepped in to correct the situation.
My point in sharing all of this Anonymous is this: Your friend’s situation is common, very common.
To be honest with you, I am more concerned about her marriage than I am with whether or not her husband gets ordained and/or stays in leadership. I say this because it is apparent that the leadership of her church lacks spiritual discernment. If they had proper discernment they would know that this man needs to be sat down for a season. Then too, often times there is this “Good ol’ boys” mentality amongst male clegry. So many of them have or are currently cheating on their wives or are in fornication or homosexual relationships that no one dare say anything about anyone else lest light be shed also on their own sins. Do you understand what I mean?
So, your friend should concern herself with the marriage. The more important question is: “Should she stay with her husband?” Has he repented? Is he still cheating? Are they getting counseling? Which of course you have already informed me that the answer is no to these questions. Tell your friend to read my post on the main page entitled “Should I Leave My Cheating Husband?” It should give her a lot of insight. Then she, or she and her husband together if they do work things out, need to be really sensitive to the Spirit as to whether or not they are to stay in that church. I’d bet you anything that someone else in the leadership is also having an affair or is in some type of sexual sin!
She should order a copy of my book The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook or my Truth About Sex CD. She can get them both on my website (www.victoriouslyfree.org) and the book is also available on amazon.com.
Please let me know how things turn out! Thanks for writing.
With Love,
Anavah
hi! I’ve read some of your advice and it seems like you can really help. I’m not a born again Christian though but i would like to seek some advice from you. I can say that Im a catholic,because I was baptized as one,when i was about 3 months old, if I could think during that time I will not choose to be baptized, there are a lot of beliefs and practices that catholics do that I really don’t do and appreciate. I cannot find any logic on those practices like those idols that they worship, the saints and why do they worship Mary so much, yes we must be thankful to her at least but not to the extent that we should worship her. in short i’m a catholic, just a title cause i was batized sometime when i was a baby but never confirmed. I went to a school, a baptist school during my elementary, and there i learned the right from wrong, there I accepted God as my personal Lord and Savior, I read the Bible all the time, problem is until now I don’t think Im living the way He wanted to, yes I’m a Christian but I was not able to live by His way, but I’m really trying my best, I’m a person of prayer, I always Thank Him and seek for His guidance. during my high school i went to a catholic school, i go to mass and do other practices because it is a requirement. because of my friends it seems like I was really being dragged way for God. I began not to read the Bible anymore. I always pray but I don’t go to church because of the fact that I dont want to go to catholic church anymore cause of many reasons, the things hat i mentioned above. well that was just as a background. the same goes for my family, we are catholic but don’t practice their illogical beliefs and practices.
here is my case. I’m in love with a girl, a born again Christian girl, We’ve talked about our case that we can never be together because i’m not a born Again. I understood that so we agreed that we can be friends. as time goes by, we’re becoming really close, were only about on our 3 months as close friends, we call each other, text each other cause we’ve just graduated last march from college and by the way she was my classmate so now we don’w see each other very often but during our school days we were always together. now we are really close to one another. we both know that she can never be my girldfriend because i’m not a born again Chirstian. I asked her what must be done in order for a guy to be her boyfriend she said he has to be a born again Christian also. sometimes she invites me to come to their church but i would not go because i’m not sure really what my intentions were, is it just because of my love for her or if i really wanted to be born again. she respects my decision and told me that she was happy because i’m thinking that way. sometimes she doubts if our friendship is right cause we know that we can never be together.
i would like to ask, am i making her sin? i
mean do I make her disobey God? because of the fact that i love her and we chose to be close friends? and is it wrong for her to make me be a born again even though she knows that i love her? is it wrong? am i making her sin against God? by being really really close to someone who is not a born again who loves you. please tell me if i’m making her do
the things she must not do. if I am, i will end our closeness willingly, because i don’t want my love for her be the reason of her disobedience, I don’t want to be an instrument of
the enemy to make her sin.
Thank you and God bless!
Dear Unamed,
I want to give you a much more detailed answer later. However, until I can give you that detailed answer please allow me to set your mind at ease by saying that there is no sin in friendship.
If your friendship is pure and the two of you are not performing any sexual acts with each other (anal, oral, or manual sex, intercourse, humping, grinding, deep kissing, etc…)then there is no sin in your friendship.
I have more that I would like to say to you, but I will have to respond in a few days. Check back then and hopefully I will have posted more.
I have a question. Okay so I am a psychology major in a university. I currently taking a psychology of sexuality class. My teacher is a doctorate degree holding counselor and psychologist majoring in counseling and physical behavior. I came to my wife last night with information from my class about how to improve our sex life. My information helped me to understand the functioning of the female body, so that I can better understand how my wife works which would overall lead to a happier marriage.
My wife at first listened and agreed to much of the content. Once I was almost done talking to her she suddenly snaps and completely disapproves of what I am telling her. She says I am becoming a psychological non Christian and she hates it. She says that she hates how I use psychology in our arguments and that she hates how I take advice from a non Christian teacher.
I am a psychology student, and she knew that from when we first got married. The problem I have is that she thinks that I am allowing Satan into our marriage, by being educated by a teacher who probably doesn’t believe in God. My argument to her was that all schools use the same curriculum for a psychological degree, so even if I went to a Christian university I would learn the same things and still have psychology influencing my daily life.
Am I wrong to take information about our relationship from a non believer? I have always believed that sometimes people who don;t believe will sometimes begin to believe once they have helped enough people and feel Gods grace fall upon them, causing them to become more intimate with God…
just an additional info regarding my case and and as well for your reply, we don’t perform any sexual act. the only physical contact we have is hugging, every time one of us feels down, we use to give hug, just to comfort each other, but nothing malicious. I can’t wait to read what are your advice and what are you going to say regarding my case, anyway, thank you very much! God Bless!
Dear unamed,
Thanks for your patience. Firstly I would to say that I believe the Spirit of Yahweh the True and Living God is at work in your heart. For you to reject the teachings of Catholicism even though you were raised under such teachings shows this. Also, the very fact that you are not willing to go to church just so you can be with her shows a heart that wants to be sincere for Yah(God).
My focus in your post is not really so much about your relationship with your friend. It is apparent to me that the two of you have a very beautiful relationship. Such friendships are rare and should be cherished. Your friend is correct though that it would be unadvisable for her to marry or even date a non-christian. It would not be a sin, but it would be unadvisable because we learn in the Bible that we should not tie ourselves to “unbelievers”.
Having said that unamed, I don’t understand why you will not give your heart to the Messiah Yeshua (Jesus). You seem to be ripe for the harvest. Why won’t you allow yourself to trust what you feel in your heart and give your heart to The Lord? He is calling you and the Bible says that TODAY is the day of salvation. He says that we should not harden our hearts when we hear his voice. Tomorrow is promised to no man. Why not go to the “Born Again” page and give your heart to Yeshua right now unamed? Once you do so, you will have direction and clarity for your life and you will be able to ask Yah directly whether or not you should marry your friend.
What you have asked me about your relationship with your friend is not nearly as important as your relationship with your Creator – Yahweh God.
with Love,
Anavah
Dear Almost One Year,
Your post, all though it is short, is jam packed with so many important issues!
Brother let me first just encourage you by telling you that I commend you for pursuing your degree. Too many Christians think that wealth and knowledge and blessings are just going to fall out of the sky! We have to work and Yahweh (God) needs His children to be in every corner of the earth, infiltrating every market and secular arena that exists. Therefore, it is definitely not wrong that you gain an understanding of psychology from your “psychology” teacher. Should your pastor teach your psychology course? Of course not!
However, having said that, I hope that you have prayed about going into psychology. It can be a dangerous field of medicine for a Christian to pursue. The teachings of psychology often times diminish the power of the spirit realm and the influence of that realm on the matters of psychology. If Yah has called you into this arena, then I know He has and will continue to equip and guard your heart against contamination. However, if he has not CALLED you into this field, you definitely put yourself in danger.
Almost One Year, it is very important that you listen to your wife. Perhaps she sees something in you that you cannot see about yourself. Perhaps the teachings of psychology have begun to corrupt the pure message of the Gospel and The Kingdom in your heart. She knows you like no one else ever will and you should at the very least prayerfully consider what she is saying to you.
Furthermore, you definitely SHOULD NOT BE USING PSYCHO BABBLE IN YOUR DISPUTES WITH YOUR WIFE! This is a definite “no, no” and could cause a rippling effect of negative events in your marriage that you two may never recover from. She will become jealous of your psychology career and begin to try and make you choose between it and herself. Perhaps this is already beginning to happen and you need to put an end to it now!
You can apply the principles of psychology in your marriage, when they are helpful, appropriate and not contrary to God’s Word (like in the instance that you mentioned about learning more about how your wife functions sexually), without voicing it to your wife. You have to use wisdom Brother. Don’t be a show off and don’t try to use her as your patient or subject. She is your wife not a study subject. Most importantly, let the Holy Spirit, above all else, teach you how to be married and keep your psychology teachings in the classroom where they belong.
I hope this helps you out.
that is completely true and that is the first thing that we learn in the classroom is to never ever bring what you have learned in class into your personal life because it will definently will cause problems. I just believe that my wife knowing that I have a bit of psychological knowledge is always guessing that I am always psychoanalyzing things which is no where near the truth, I usually just speak with my heart. I think I just need to pray that some how some way my wife can see that I am truly talking to her from my heart and not from any text book or lecture.
Minister Laneen,
First I would like to say I was blessed by your conference at Household of Faith Church in Jacksonville, FL. About 75% of the thing you’ve experienced i have as well however i do have a question: I read STDs: Sexually Transmitted Demons and i noticed that you didn’t address the issue of incest in depth.How is it that one can be forgiven for committing incest due to lack of knowledge?
Well it looks like I came to the right place.
Well my problem started years ago stumbled upon pornography and masterbation. I have been trying to stop for years and I feel that this is eating me away at me + hindering me from progressing further into a relationship with God. For the past few years I have been EXTREMELY hooked on beastiality pornography and I can’t get away from it no matter what I try.
Any advice on where to start would be nice, I am so hooked no way I can stop at this rate.
Dear Heya,
This is a serious addiction that you have but stopping is not impossible! I know it may seem like it, but it’s not. Your empowerment to stop will come from your level of willingness to sacrifice for your deliverance. How bad do you want to stop? Are you just saying you want to stop because you know in your head you should, yet in your heart don’t really want to? Or are you just utterly fed up with yourself and this behavior and willing to do anything to stop? That is a question that you have to answer honestly because an addiction as strong as yours can only be broken through deliberate and diligent effort.
If you are really ready a good place to start would be counseling. I suggest that you seek out a Christian counselor that specializes in sexual addiction. I don’t know many so I am available if you want to start sessions with me and my husband. Also, it would really help for you to begin to tear down the wall of lies that has built up in your mind by replacing it with the truth about sex an sexual addictions. My CDs will really help with that. When I deal with clients that have strong addictions like yours, I instruct them to play the CDS over and over without ceasing for 30 days (or longer if necessary). This begins to breakdown the power of the demonic strongholds and makes counseling and study and prayer more effective.
Doing these two things is where I suggest that you start. Please contact me if you need any further advice or help. Thanks for writing. You are on the right track and you can prevail over this addiction!
with Love,
Anavah
Dear Virtous One,
I am not exactly sure what you mean. If you are asking how a person can be forgiven by God; for committing incest when they did not know better, then the answer is that it is no different than being forgiven for any sin. I counsel many people that grew up in a sexually perversed household where many family members lived together. As a result those people had sex with their cousins and brothers and sisters as children and teens. It is much more common that you might think. I know that such activity would cause one to carry shame in their hearts when they get older and realize that such behavior is perversed, but it really is not different than asking for forgiveness for lying or stealing or cursing or bitterness, or anything else…
If you want to know how to forgive someone who committed incest against you because they did not know better, again I say that “forgiveness is forgiveness”. Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is an action. Jesus instructs us in the Bible to 1) love our enemies, 2) bless them that curse us, 3) do good to them that hate us, 4) and pray for those that despitefully use us. These four steps are what forgiveness consists of, not a gooey warm feeling of well-wishes. Sometimes we can feel so angry and hurt we feel lost when it comes to forgiving those that have hurt us, but when we realize that it is about how we act and not how we feel, we can acheive forgiveness!
I hope I understood your question and answered it correctly. If not, please write again and clarify your question.
In His Power,
Anavah
Hi Anavah,
I have totally decided not to use BCPs anymore due to health problems that arose in a close family member. She was an unmarried celibate Christian woman who took the Depo-Provera shot to stop the discomfort of her menstrual cycles. She had some pain in her lower abdomen and asked her doctor about it, but they told her that they could not do any test because she was only about 26 at the time. Now at the age of 28 she has been in the hospital due to internal bleeding and lost over 50 percent of her blood and could have died. When she told me it was because of taking the depo shot, it made me reevaluate the pill that I started taking when I married my husband over two years ago. I read the packaging information and stopped taking them in April this year when I read all the serious complications involved with taking them. Since then we have not practiced any birth control but I kind of guess around ovulation dates, and sometimes my husband and I will make love and sometimes we won’t around the time that I may be ovulating.
My question to you is what does the bible say about natural family planning? Should there be any effort put into that or should there be no method of birth control at all and however the blessings come, they come?
Thanks so much for your time.
Dear bcquest,
Thanks for writing. The Bible does not speak specifically of family planning, or at least in no way that I am aware of. What you find in the Bible is evidence of God both opening and closing wombs – in other words there is strong evidence that God determined if and when a woman would have a child. Also, the Bible says that children are a gift from God. And in another place it says that marriages are blessed by God so that Godly offspring can be produced (this is spoken of in Malichi). And who doesn’t know about God’s instructions to Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and multiply”?
There is a clear Biblical premise for “not using birth control methods”. There is even a story in the Bible where a man was actually struck dead by God for purposefully pulling out of his wife before ejaculating in order to prevent her from getting pregnant. When you take all of this into consideration along with the the damaging effects that many birth control methods have on the body, the case for no bc gets even stronger. And even natural methods of bc such as “pulling out” or trying to “time ovulation” have adverse affects as these methods disrupt the spontaneity and joy of coming together intimately as husband and wife.
However, having said all of that I don’t beleive that anyone is going to go to hell for using bc. I do believe that it is a definite and evil act of disobedience for any married person to utterly refuse to have children. But if a couple wants to wait to have children, or if they have had children already and don’t want anymore then in this case I say get peace from God about it. If the couple is in agreement and have peace in their hearts that God is pleased with their family size, then bc is fine.
I got my tubes tied after I had my seventh child because I felt physically incapable of carrying another child. Before then though, I was willing to have as many as God blessed me with and that my body could handle. In all honesty for anyone that is unsure, I am an advocate for no bc. If you trust God he will give you the perfect family size according to His plan for your life!
I hope this helps answer your question.
With love,
Anavah
Good Morning,
I am ashamed of what I am about to write and I have been ashamed for years. I am at a point in my life where I want a real and honest relationship with God, but things that happened in my life makes me feel like I am not qualified. Here is my story:
When I was 7 years old my half brother at my auntie house on my father side told me he wanted to show me what my father does to his mother. I let him pull down my panties and mess with my private parts. I never told my mother until months later when she caught me kissing my pillow and I was teaching my younger cousin how to kiss the pillow to at seven years old and that was sad. My mother talk to me and told me never to let anyone touch me like that again. But sexual perversion didn’t stop there still seven years old one night my mother was asleep and I was up front watching TV cinemax and then will the clock struck 12am a sexual movie came on and I watched the whole thing. From there still at seven years old i had to watch them all the time and I began touching myself. Then the worst thing that could happened happen my cousin that I was so close with we were like a couple of months apart and she was like my bestfriend. We start watching them together and start playing that way with each other we were both girls. Then not only did I introduce one cousin to it my cousin on my father side who was 5years younger than me i introduce her to it as well. when i got about 13 and started to know who God was I stop everything all together watching those nasty shows and hurting my two girls cousin. I hated myself and I wanted to die everyday but God would not kill me and I don’t know why. I allowed what happen to me affect my younger cousins. I ask God why all the time. Now to the this present day my cousin that is couple of months younger than me thinks she want to date girls and my cousin 5 years younger than me started having sex at 14 years old. I blame myself for their messed up lives. As for me I am a regualr going to church person who loves the Lord so much I have been successful in my life, but this one thing in my life keep me so in bondage I can’t tell you enough. I have been asking God that you take that memory away from my cousins mind my whole life. We never talk about it none of us. I just don’t know how to truly walk in freedom. Before I get married and have children I want this spirit of sexual perversion gone from my life. I pray for my cousin, because it is all my fault. Where do I start for my deliverance?
mine is more like a question. i have been married for two years and sometimes my husband wants to have anal sex with me ,,,but i do not know if it is accepted in christainity or if God forbids christains to have such engagements with their wives or husband.
Nana,
I wrote a really thorough article on marital sex that talks about anal sex. I believe you will get the answers you need from it. I also have a great CD teaching that outlines marital sex and has helped many couples. You can get that from my website.
The link for the article is http://christiansexuality.wordpress.com/2007/10/04/anavahs-answer-which-acts-are-permissable-within-the-confines-of-marriage/
Just copy and paste it. After you read it if you still have questions please let me know.
Thanks!
I am a newly redeemed backsliden former pastor. Currently serving in another ministry the past 2 yrs I found myself out of true relationship with God… but not out of the church. Married 13 years and committed adultery the last 1 1/2 yrs. My wife now knows the whole truth now since I recently rededicated my life back to Christ and experienced deliverance. My wife did know of some infidelity previously.Now since knowing the truth (100%), my wife in retaliation has fallen under the same adultery spirits I was bound by. We have considered divorce off and on for 10 yrs. Though she’s still serving in the church, she is seeing someone else and it’s hard for me to resist divorce and have the desire to fight for our marriage as Im constantly thoughtful of my discontentment throughout the marriage.When does one ever say “enough is enough”?. When does a battered spouse say “no more”? Many pastors and christian counselors say “Never” give up but is this really the best for everyone? Any advice is appreciated.
Dear Fallen Soldier,
In the case of working through adultery and abuse or ending the marriage through divorce, I don’t believe there is a “one-size fits all“ formula. The joining together and tearing apart of two human souls through adultery and divorce is such a complicated issue. There are so many factors to consider, but the greatest of all to me is insight into God’s will for you as his son, and your wife as his daughter. His plan, purpose and will for your lives hasn’t changed just because you’ve fallen. The question is: can that purpose be fulfilled if the two of you stay together? Can it be fulfilled if the two of you divorce?
In a situation like yours brother, although the question of divorce is one that can only be answered in prayer, it is mandated in scripture is that you do separate. This is not opinion it is a Biblical mandate. Please see an article that I wrote on this blog entitled “Should I Leave My Cheating Husband” posted on April 1, 2008. This article very plainly and powerfully reveals God’s mandate that a spouse in your situation seek a separation. Does it matter that you cheated first? No, not at all because your wife is first accountable to God. Although she may be seeking to hurt you, she is nailing Christ to cross afresh.
I commend your willingness to stand in the gap for her and take responsibility in your part in causing the current chaos in your marriage. That is good and necessary. Yet at the same time you cannot make yourself solely responsible for the her actions. You are both in a place right now where your main focus needs to be on the re-establishing and strengthening of your individual relationships with God. Trouble rises up in marriage with people are not truly submitted to God. As much as I love my husband, I love God more; there is therefore nothing that my husband could do to make me deliberately hurt or disregard the God of my salvation. Do you understand what I mean Soldier?
In closing, the first step you need to take is moving out of the house and focusing on your personal relationship with God. Set yourself to fast and pray and hear from the Spirit concerning how you should move forward after that step has been taken. My prayers are with you and I even encourage you take advantage of the resources on my website. Many individuals and couples have been helped to get through adultery and other strongholds of perversion through the use of the materials on my website at http://www.laneenhaniah.com.
In His Power,
Anavah
Dear Dr. Intimacy,
I am struggling sexually in my mind. When I was about 5 or 6, my babysitters’ cousin began touching on my private area. So as to make me a little less uneasy while he did it, he’d turn on cartoons for me to watch. I had supressed these memories along with many others until about 5 years ago. I am now married with children. I suddenly found myself remembering what was done to me as a child. I began looking at adult anime online. I became so addicted to it.
I struggled/am struggling to let that go and send it straight back to the depths of hell. On top of that, I recently started masturbating. I never found myself so attractive to the point where i’d actually touch myself, but here lately, I do it more than I should. I don’t want these lingering demons to transfer to my children. I want to stop. I pray against it all the time. I stay away from the computer except to check email or chat with friends and family. People who know me (or think they do) would never imagine me having these issues or struggles. God has been so gracious enough to keep me covered and my mess out of the light of day. Also, to add insult and injury to devastation, I’ve been having dreams about a dear friend of mine. A friend who’s married and has his own kids. These dreams leave me wondering if I am married to the wrong person. I love my husband and children with all my heart and soul. It just seems that everything I’m not getting out of my marriage…like a listening ear, my friend has shown up and given me all over again. He’s unhappy in his situation, and cares a great deal about me. He never proposed adultery or anything, but did say he has loved me a long time. My mind just feels like this huge battleground. I think about my mess so much sometimes, I get a headache from it. I want to be truly happy and content with the life God gave me and leave my past where it is and move forward. I just find it so difficult to do so. Where should I begin?
Depressed & Confused
Dear Prophetess Laneen,
I’ve never felt the need to share this information and don’t know how, but this my issue.
My father is a pastor, but from the time I was one he is the only father I’ve known! He started touching me when I was about ten years old up till I was sixteen, me and my mother didn’t have the best of relationships due to her being jealous of her girls. Well, four months before my seventeenth birthday I called one of my aunts and told her what was going on and ran away to her house, but in the mix of all this happening I was also engaging in affairs of homosexuality with a previous childhood friend from the age of thirteen. So with the information of my father molesting me being brought out among the family I was called a liar by my mother, she wanted me to come back home and I did, but the living issue had gotten worse for me, so at the age of seventeen I was put out by this man. I started living with a cousin and ended up meeting my kids father who was a drug dealer. I am now married to a man who is what they call broken goods too. My relationship with my husband has been rocky and I see no out with this man, I have never had a std until I married him and I am in the church very much so. With all this going on he wanted to end the marriage, because he was cheating on me, with being apart for three months from my husband and him saying he would change and wanting to come home, I befriend a young lady and started engaging in sexual acts with her. I did want the marriage, but also keep in contact with her, due too we worked together, with my husband back home it started off okay with us, but he again after six months back home he wanted to leave again and again I found out I had a std from him. So to jump to the issue we are now seeking marriage counseling and he is suppose to be a recovering addict, I’m in the church again, but my husband has created a baby outside of our marriage and we live in two different homes, but I love this man and I’m trying my best to stick with him, but the devil is riding him and me really hard, I pray and don’t fall back from believing that god can do all things, however I still want to look at pornography shows with girls and I see myself wanting to engage in a relationship with a female, but it only goes as far as me watching those types of shows, but with my husband I still feel, a spirit of deceit, lies and manipulating with him and at this point of my life I am tired of keeping this part of my life from my husband, I also have dreams that has been revealed to me about my husband, my life was prophesied over some months back when my husband was in jail. Prophetess Laneen I’ve prayed about it and give it to my father, but the issue is now that I can’t see my husband been faithful and him been in the church and everyone believing he is this man that is real about the work of the lord, he tell me at times that he will not let me cause him to lose his god and him staying clean and he has a issue with me speaking with one of his brothers in Christ and the pastor of the church and I think that a problem of you hiding and not full changed, I see my faith growing everyday on making myself right in god’s eye when it come to that spirit of homosexuality, don’t get me wrong I’m in love with my husband, and still sexually attractive to him, but I can not come to a full orgasm with him, and I sometimes hate having sex with him and I can’t see what’s hidden there. I can’t break lose of this man, because I can see the pattern forming again with him trying to leave for some stupid reason, and I’m trying to be submissive to him, but I don’t think he deserve to have a submissive wife or my love , I know its wrong in the eyes of the lord, so I’ve been praying on that, but I can’t see a ending with all the lies and deceitfulness and I’m getting to the point of wanting a divorce. I pray for strength everyday, because I can see myself getting weak because of the lies and things, so I seeking some advice on this issue.
I’m not quite sure where to begin. It was 8/2008 that my dad lent me your book to read s.t.d. so you can just about guess he is a pastor. He attended a conference is i think either jacksonville or orlando florida and you were there. he said that your story reminded him of me. (i wrote a book but it isn’t published as of yet) i experience a lot of physical mental verbal and sexual abuse very early on and I first want to say I thank God for your life being an open book. I know God is calling me into a place of me being an open book as well, but I have a problem. my emotions are all over the place. presently God is healing me from alot of hurt that i’m giving to him. I’m not not having sex but i am trying to break mindsets that came along with my violation… for example… because I was molested by different people from age five and up I realized last year that i had developed a mindset that the only way I could please a man was to offer up my body. im praying and bombarding God to help me to see my self worth because my worth has always amounted to sex… how did God do it for you? I dont know anyone that would be candid with their experience or even admit to 10% of the things you teach on. I know God is going to lead me to a place to where He will use me to help others. but right now i need help
Ms. G
I somehow missed this comment but I did receive the email you sent me and we have spoken on the phone. You took my advice and ordered some products and also began to fellowship with us on our daily phone fellowships. I know that you have grown and are doing better so I thank God for your life and how you have progressed. Keep in touch with us. Hugs.
Hello….Here is my situation
First I would like to say that I heard about you from your lovely sister Karmina. She is the manager at my job. I’m not sure if she gave you a brief summary about my situation but I’m going through some issues with my family and the environment at home and I need someone to talk too because I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown. Karmina felt that you would be the perfect person for me to talk too since you’ve been through so much and felt that you can shed some light on my situation and give me the mental support that I need.
I’m going through so many situations at this time that I dont know where to turn? Who to cry too? Who to punch? or Who to trust?
The first issue that I’m going through is with ACS. My daughter and I was working on homework one night and we were at it for hours. My daughter tends to loose focus very easily and when she dont want to do something she dont want to do it. So with time passing, I’m getting aggravated, loosing my cool and she is just not giving the effort anymore. Things got out of hand to the point where I pinched her and it left a marking on her. The next day she went to the school and showed the teachers and by the times I get home ACS is in my living room waiting for me.
I was so hurt by this situation, I couldn’t believe that my own child would do something like that to me. I dont beat my child on the regular. I’ve been doing the whole “time out” and “taking her priveledges away” but if I have to talk to you more than 5 times then its time for some behind wipping. Little did I know that would mess my life up. After this situation I haven’t been able to look at her the same.
It so embarrassing to say but I have a little hatred for her. I try so hard to let this situation go but I look at her now as if she is an enemy. How can a mother have these kinds of feelings towards her child? I’m just so hurt that she would do that to me. I dont beat my child that often. I give her whats she wants and try my best to keep her happy and busy so that she can enjoy childhood and do things that I didn’t get a chance to do.
What makes this situation worse is that she has a father that I’m no longer with putting things in her head about me. It comes to a point that she makes these comments saying “my daddy said if you touch me or do anything to me to call the police”. That just erks my nerves even more. Does she know what she is doing? What did I do to her for her to have these feeling towards me? or she just wants to see me taken away and locked up. I do so much for this little girl and I get no credit for it. I can buy her a stick of gum and she would think that it came from her daddy. The one who is never there and makes promises that he cant keep.
This is the person that she loves and adores and not me. I just dont get it. How can I love someone that I think has a grudge against me? I dont know if its because we are together so much that she is just tired of seeing my face and need some space. Maybe we need some time apart but who is going to do me that honor, not her bastard of a father because he just have so much going on with his life that he has to check his schedule to see when he has time for her.
I try to work with this man on so many occaision but he makes it worse. I dont know if I can go on another 12 years dealing with this man. I HATE HIM. Her father and I have come to the round table many times to talk about ways we can communicate with each other to make things run smooth between us and it would go nice the first few days and then back to the same old mess.
Every year he goes against my will and file taxes for her, even though he dont take care of her. He tells me ” I know why you are calling me and the answer is no…..if you want something for her ask me and I will get it for her but I’m not giving you no money”. He has gone up to her school and put on a scene in front of her teacher making it seem like I’m not a good mother. Telling them messes like what kind of mother send her kids to school with ankle socks and high waters. Telling lies on me and making my character seem like some kind of demon.
He goes around the neighborhood and tells people that I’m a whore and how he is going to work hard at to make my child turn against me. In the courts he tries to lie and make it seem like I’m not there for my child and I’m not a good mother. The man is just against me. We fought a few times because that is all I know….fighting. I’m just worried that it going to reach the point where one of us is behind bars and the other six feet under. I hate this man and I want to take him out. I wish for him to die at times so that I dont have to deal with him anymore.
I cant cry anymore because I dont see what it does, for me. It makes me feel a little better but at the end of the day the problem and issues are still there. At times I also feel that crying make me weak or seem weak and that is one sign that I dont like to show. I’m so used to people coming to me to talk and me being the strong one that when it’s my turn I feel like I cant share these issues with anyone. How can the person that people look at to be so strong be weak.
I just dont know what to do. When you get a chance please reach out to me. I’m in need of help. Please.
Thank You