One of my bloggers posted the following in response to an article that I’d written entitled, “When a Spouse Cheats is the Other Spouse to Blame?” (You can find this article in the Archives). I think that his post is absolutely amazing and incredibly insightful so I wanted to share it here on the main page.

Some people are in situations where they have an unbelieving or backslidden spouse that continuously cheats. For those types of marriages the previous article on this page “Should I Leave My Cheating Husband?” effectively addresses those types of situations. But then there are other people that are in a situation where a good spouse falls into adultery and sincerely wants forgiveness and healing. For those of you in this situation, I encourage all of you to handle it the way that this man handled it in his own marriage. Read on…

 Forgive wrote:

I found out during a marriage conference/retreat that my wife had had an affair. I asked her, and she came clean. I can explain it in no other way than this. God manifested His grace in my life at that moment like no time before (other than when He saved me by His grace). Immediately, I forgave her. She was broken, I was broken. I had always wondered, but not to the extent of suspicion and mistrust. But something that night made me ask, and she knew as well that it was coming out that night. When my worst fear was confirmed, God touched me. She and I would work it out.

Now, I still hurt deeply, and I may for the rest of my days. I just don’t know. She was a virgin when we married. She is quiet, humble, and has never rebelled before. As we have reflected on the situation, there are a few places of blame on both of our parts. They are as follows:

1) She had been taking antidepressants. They numbed her to alot of things. Though she was “happier”, she wasn’t herself. She quit these cold-turkey a month or so prior to this revelation.

2) There simply was not the kind of communication that MUST be in a marriage. With 2 kids, 2 careers, etc etc, we neglected the time to be married to one another. Without communication from both sides, a marriage is nothing but a business relationship that keeps up house payments and babysits kids. I feel I am mostly to blame for this part. She did not share how her mind and heart were, and though I would ask, I did not persist or be consistent.

3) Not praying together. This was our fundamental flaw. Husbands and wives who do not pray together are playing with fire. With bills, kids, jobs and the “business” of this world’s pace, prayer is a no-brainer that often gets overlooked and neglected.

4) Satan hates marriage. period. He will do what he can to destroy the one thing that models Christ and the Church. He can’t touch Christ, and he can’t touch the Church (Believers, not walls), so he attacks the closest thing that represents them.

There are other things that led to this, I am sure, but the above are the main ones we talked about and concluded.

By the way, two days after I found this out, we talked about it, and we agreed that she should call him and tell him. After a few minutes, I was on the phone with him as well. I DO NOT say this in a prideful or boastful way, because I know I would be incapable of this in and of myself, but I told him that I forgive him too (which I did), and that I love him and would pray for him. He is lost, and needs witnessing. God helped me deal with the situation properly. This guy is an acquaintance of mine as well, so we know one another to an extent, and I do not want to see him remain lost. It is my prayer that the way God helped me handle him will make an impression. He knows where I stand, and he knows how I was able to forgive him.

If nothing else is gleaned from this, remember one thing. Jesus forgave us. We should…rather, we HAVE TO forgive others.

God bless.

In  His Power,
Minister Laneen A. Haniah
Anavah – the blog owner and author of
The Spirits of Sexual Perversion Handbook
www.victoriouslyfree.org 

Looking for a previous article? Click Here

Would you  like to become a born again believer in Yeshua/Jesus Christ and receive eternal salvation? Click Here    

Want to share a testimony? Click Here

Need advice about something? Click Here     

If you are interested in being a moderator or author for this weblog please  e-mail me at laneenhaniah@victoriouslyfree.org     

(Please be advised that if you post a comment to any article on this weblog, you will automatically be added to the mailing list, receiving weekly updates about this site. If you do not want to be automatically added to this list all you have to do is add this phrase in parenthesis at the beginning of your first comment only: “I do not wish to be added to the mailing list”. You only have to add this phrase to the very first comment you post. It will protect you from receiving updates. Thank you for your cooperation. )